One Golden Bluto to Pia Cayetano

The cyberforce has the thugs on the run.

  • Senator Soto is so beside himself that he is giving whining speech after whining speech, blaming bloggers for his misery. It is rumored that political party UNA will demand he sit down and shut up because he is killing their chances for election. If not their’s, their son’s. Like the son of Enrile who may be political history just a few days after filing for candidacy. Compliments of Sotto the Thug.
  • Senator Pia has called Top Blogger Raissa Robles “unprofessional” and “unethical” because she didn’t like being erroneously associated with writing of the Cybercrime Bill. Nevermind that she belongs to a body whose ethical standard is to stand silent whilst one of their own plagiarizes, yells at whistle blowers and otherwise displays the odorous values of a warm steaming pile of karabao leavings. More on Senator Pia in a moment.
  • The President of this fine country keeps getting his mitt in a wringer for stubbornly refusing to budge, bend or grant respect to anyone who wants something other than what he wants. As if he were baby Aquino isolated from sense by too much coddling.
  • Senators Enrile and Trillanes have had a serious crackup on the Senate floor, passing disgrace around on a silver platter.
These are quality performances. They need to be globally recognized. And to properly give credit where credit is due, JoeAm will establish a new award called:
 
  • The Golden Bluto Award
It is rather a cross between gold stars and Oscars. It is scaled according to the quality of the performance where the quality we aspire to recognize is thuggery.
You may recall that Bluto is Popeye’s arch-rival for Olive Oyl. He was recognized in a prior blog by Mr. America about China’s thuggish behavior in the West Philippine Sea.

  • Indeed, China is hereby declared an obvious recipient of the Golden Bluto Award, receiving Five Golden Blutos in the category of “Nation Building” for the fine performance “If We Want It, We’ll Take It!”
I expect our most popular category will be “Overweening Pride in a Political Setting”.  (Thanks to “springwoodman” for the fine characterization “overweening pride” in a  remark on Top Blogger Raissa’s blog.)
In the interest of not wasting any time, we’ll declare some fairly obvious winners right here, right now.

  • Five Golden Blutos go to Senator Sotto for his fine performance on the RH Bill entitled “Hear No Ethics, See No Ethics, Do No Ethics”. His thuggery involved stealing original work from a blogger, denying the theft, criticizing the whistle-blowers who got on his case as “cyber-bullies”, admitting he copied the words, showing no remorse, and hinting he would use the libel provision of the Cybercrime Bill to get even with critics.
Senator Sotto sets the bar high. It is difficult to be more thuggish than that. Tricking the public with a speech and threatening the good folks who demand ethics on the floor of the Senate. What an overweening weenie.
Ahahahaha, the award shall be titled “The Overweening Weenie Prize” for overseas distribution in the event other countries enforce copyright laws regarding the use of the Bluto name. In the Philippines, of course, we don’t worry much about little nuances like copyrights or trade marks.

  • Two Golden Blutos are awarded to both Senator Enrile and Senator Trillanes for their classic performances in “Arguments about China and Treason on the Senate Floor”.
Need we explain that award? Never before have so many senators sat with mouths agape watching two of their own behave like a pair of alley cats in heat, slandering government officials and each other and revealing State secrets in the name of Ego.
And let’s also grant the President of the Philippines his due:

  • One Golden Bluto to President Aquino for his butchering of the finer notions of freedom of expression during his recent sterling performance “In Defense of the Signing of the Cybercrime Bill”. He displayed all the sensitivity of a stone regarding citizen rights. This was after a dozen attorneys and another dozen bloggers and even Father Bernas cited the “chilling effect” of the legislation.
And getting now to today’s honoree, the esteemed Pia Cayetano, a noted dynasterian who sits with her brother in the Senate.

  • One Golden Bluto to Senator Cayetano for her lovely rendition of a huffy superior human in a performance entitled “Insufferable Snottiness by a Senator in Dealing with a Blogger“. Rather than expressing appreciation for Raissa Roble’s detailed revelations about how the Cybercrime Act came to be, she went in overweening fashion to name calling, claiming Raissa is “unprofessional” and “unethical”, failing to acknowledge that the Senate Journal from which Raissa worked is a mess, and failing to acknowledge the important work that bloggers do to strive for transparency in a political world that takes hiding as its modus operandi.
You know, these people just don’t get it.
They don’t get that they now work in the front room of public inspection, not the back room where their cigar smoke is as choking as their values.
Bloggers deal in an environment where they learn to take it, learn to dish it. This is no subservient sector of the public, groveling before their betters.
These officious thugs who pretend they represent the public, these overweening weenies, will get it soon.
Humility may come hard. But it will eventually arrive.
Thugs on the run.

GOLDEN BLUTO AWARDS REGISTER

CATEGORY: “Overweening Pride in a Political Setting”

Awards
Year
Person
Performance
Basis
2012
Sen. Sotto
“Hear No Ethics, See No Ethics, Do No Ethics”
Plagiarism; blaming & threatening bloggers; advocating online libel
2012
Sen. Enrile
“Arguments about China and Treason on the Senate Floor”
Behavior unbecoming a senator
2012
Sen.Trillanes
“Arguments about China and Treason on the Senate Floor”
Behavior unbecoming a senator
2012
Pres. Aquino
“In Defense of the Signing of the Cybercrime Bill”
Tin ear regarding freedom of expression as a human right
2012
Sen. Cayetano
“Insufferable Snottiness by a Senator in Dealing with a Blogger”
Holier than thou attitude toward a person working hard for the benefit of public well being

 CATEGORY: “Nation Building”

Awards
Year
Nation
Performance
Basis
2012
China
“If We Want It, We’ll Take It!”
Claiming all of the West Philippine Sea; using fleets to intimidate small nations

Comments
18 Responses to “One Golden Bluto to Pia Cayetano”
  1. Me gosh, I know these Bluto Awardees meant well but their means are not well.See? Philippine Media columnists are not responsible thinking Filipinos. Were it not for bloggers Philippine Media would have just said Amen.Philippine Media are idioting the Filipinos.

  2. Ah, I need some new categories for the Blutos I think. Like "Entertainment" which, of course, includes Philippine news broadcasts and sensationalist newspapers. And "Thugs on the Internet", to account for the disposition of our less kind brothers. Might have to go to six Blutos for friend benigno.

  3. Plus I like the way you have used "idiot" as a verb. I shall enter that into the Humpty Dumpty New World Dictionary, which is rather like Wikipedia except it has a bigger brain. "To idiot": the process whereby those empty of head impose their emptiness on others. As in "Senator Sotto idioted the Senate by inserting a libel clause that no one dared think about."

  4. Anonymous says:

    Your last sentence gave away part of your identity Mariano. Now I can tell you are an Ilocano!-Hawaii Five Ooh

  5. andrew lim says:

    Had to do some research why you call him Bluto when I knew him as Brutus. Turns out there were copyright issues back then, and the re-issue of the cartoon had Brutus, a slightly altered Bluto. In local politics, Jack is a slightly altered Johnny, Jinggoy is a slightly altered Erap, and Nancy is a slightly altered Jejomar. All deserving their own Blutos. LOL

  6. Anonymous says:

    Pnoy on anti-cybercrime act is rather like one who discovers there's a small hole in a new sock and insists on using it because it's only a small hole. A Bluto is just what the doctor ordered.DocB

  7. Brutus would be a better name, now that I think about it, smacks of the brutality of thuggishness. But Bluto reminds me of Blotto, as in empty-headed or stoned. That works, too.I'm amused by your "slightly altered" versions and reminded of the wisdom that "the apple does not fall far from the tree."

  8. Comedian today, I see. As I'm reading up on how this act evolved, I am seeing the heavy hand of Executive Branch in its creation. It was not a legislative doing. It was Executive, and the legislature bowed. No wonder the President must support it. He's the guy ramming it through.

  9. Edgar Lores says:

    The UN Human Rights Council impressed the importance of internet freedom in a resolution date 29 June 2012. I quote the pertinent portions:1. Affirms that the same rights that people have offline must also be protected online, in particular freedom of expression, which is applicable regardless of frontiers and through any media of one’s choice, in accordance with articles 19 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights;2. Recognizes the global and open nature of the Internet as a driving force in accelerating progress towards development in its various forms;3. Calls upon all States to promote and facilitate access to the Internet and international cooperation aimed at the development of media and information and communications facilities in all countries;4. Encourages special procedures to take these issues into account within their existing mandates, as applicable;5. Decides to continue its consideration of the promotion, protection and enjoyment of human rights, including the right to freedom of expression, on the Internet and in other technologies, as well as of how the Internet can be an important tool for development and for exercising human rights, in accordance with its programme of work.We must award the Human Rights Council 5 stars for the opposite of the Golden Blutto Awards.BTW, this reaffirms your right as a non-Filipino to express views on Philippine matters.

  10. There are those who cherish freedom of expression and those who are afraid of it. Those who are afraid of it believe they can't compete in honorable fashion for the rights and powers they now enjoy. They need to "game the system". Read Senator Sotto's quote in the right column on the teaser for tomorrow's article. He truly believes he has a clearer understanding of freedoms than the rest of the nation. I fear that this man is very dark of soul.

  11. Cha says:

    Et tu, Bluto?-slightly altered Julius Caesar

  12. It is a little known fact that Caesar was Japanese.

  13. Edgar Lores says:

    First nominations for 2 Golden Oyl Awards for 2012:1. Senator Guingona – 2 Stars – Performance "Sole Downvoter of Cybercrime Bill" – Basis "Behavior becoming a senator".2. Senator Guingona – 1 Star – Performance "Crowdsourcing of Legislative Bills" – Basis "Behavior becoming a senator".

  14. So recorded. I'm starting to think this Senator Guingona is the real deal. He "gets it."

  15. Anonymous says:

    President Aquino, coming from a royal blood line of heroes and saints, representing all that is good, popular and trustworthy, is acting like a stubborn little spoiled brat? I am so shocked.

  16. I am hoping he just hit a little bump here. I'm guessing he (or Justice)started the push for cybercrime legislation a couple of years ago in the heat of his crackdown on crime, but the language got out of hand, especially with the insert of the libel provision. Now he can't back out after having gotten the legislature to do his bidding. Maybe he hopes the Supereme Court will get him out of his fix.Either that or he is a thug just like everyone else. I'd like to think not.

  17. Anonymous says:

    Among pres Aquino's ardent supporters, including JoeAm, I will be the first to say that power is getting over his head now. The reason behind is unknown but would still give him the benefit of the doubt that he is just plain stubborn not to admit he was blindsided in signing cybercrime law without him investigating or reading the details of the bill. Very easy to glance and read libel as part of the law but probably he was assured by his advisers there is nothing to it or the bill will not pass because the bigwigs in senate would not cooperate with his other priorities. Extortion begets extortion. Without him contemplating to shuffle his entire cabinet and advisory staff, his credibilty will sink by the end of Dec 2013. Last year, I predicted that if there were no obvious results on the cases against GMA and allies by mid 2012 his popularity will suffer. It did until it recovered after Corona impeachment. We have separate unknown wide statitistical data, so listen to me Mr. President. Overconfidence, lack of will power to part with some of your abusive and double dealing supposed trusted friends and too stubborn character will be your downfall.Johnny Lin

  18. Johnny, I'm working on a different theory than his not reading the details of the bill. I'm imagining this started in 2010 when he was launching his clean-up campaign and included the internet among the places to clean up. So the DOJ compiled a draft cybercrime bill and pushed it out to various legislators (the multiple identical copies Raissa mentions). It eventually became law. Because the President had "leaned on" people to pass the law, he cannot easily pull away and deny its legitimacy. In other words, he is stuck between a rock and a hard place. The idea was good, the execution bad. He's stuck. The Supreme Court will get him off the hook.

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