Angry Maude Reports: Invasion of the Philippines

Extra! Extra! Read all about it!
Philippines Invaded!

Special Report Filed by Angry Maude

The Philippines suffered a stealth invasion overnight. Well, the invasion did not exactly take place overnight, but the Nation awoke and discovered itself invaded.
Rather like a woman awaking, rolling over, and finding herself face to face with some naked unwanted stranger, scruffy of beard, smelly of breath, and loud of snore right there on the pillow next to hers. Kinda makes you want to check out the body parts and wonder about the dream , you know?
But no matter how it happened, it was clear over the morning coffee, reading the morning blog, that the Philippines has been invaded. It is now occupied. Officially. Without question. Fo sho . . .
Strangers are in charge.
Normally we think of invaders as being from a different planet, or different country. A different place of geography.
But that is just a limitation in our thinking, rather like our thinking that history is a stepwise progression in time rather than a warp of space.  History is taking place instantaneously but on a magnificent spacial quantum twist of cohesion that we can only grasp iteratively. And if you can figure that sentence out, please send me a note, because I have no idea what I just said. Michael Crichton gets it, though, I’m confident.
Occupiers are distinguished, not by the land from which they emerged, but the by the control they exercise over the native man. Or woman. We are not gender biased here, no matter what my sisters think. We are occasionally inclined to use gender shortcuts, for the quickest point between two ideas is often a short word.
But I digress . . .
Christ this blog will never get written if my typewriter keeps running off at the lip . . .
We are occupied.
The invader

The invaders are the pampered patrons of dynastic privilege backed by the moneyed industrialists. This is a well-defined set of people, a unity, a community, a nation unto itself.
These creatures are chameleons of the body and public presentation  and are able to mold themselves into our likeness like a Roddenberry shape-shifter from Planet Xon. They look like us. Dress the same. Have the same language. And they talk the good word in that language, appealing to our historical pride in their father’s deeds. Or mother’s. Or great grand-aunt’s, as long as the name is distinguished enough.
They are handsome or pretty, charming and intelligent. They smile and tell us of their good deeds. They get their 15 minutes of fame, generally once or twice a week.
But then they step away from the public podium of gracious bearing and they get down and dirty, down and privileged, down and powerful. They wave the law in front of our faces and say “obey” whilst running off to do as they please, where as they please means engorging their stomachs and wallets off the fat of a very thin nation. Nay, a starving nation.
Make no mistake. They are different. They are unified. And they are raping and pillaging.
You can tell they have something to hide because that’s what they spend most of their time doing. They hide their money in secret bank accounts. They hide their deeds in public records kept from the public.  Getting SALN’s out of them is like pulling teeth from a gorilla. They get their educations in foreign lands at strange places named Harvard and London School of Economics. They live behind gated walls with maids and servants and polished fast cars that haul them about while the rest of the nation is stuffed like crushed sardines in the back of a noisy, dirty, diesel-puffing jeepney.
They step ambitiously and assuredly upward along the path to fame, riches and power whilst the rest of the nation sticks in one place for a lifetime, monotonously jamming rice into the mud.
No, no. We are occupied.
Those people are “those people”. They are different. They are not us.
They make the rules, and the rules favor them. The rules do not favor us.
If we open our yaps, the dungeon awaits. Senator Sotto represents the dark knight, a vivid  caricature, a hyper-sensitive ego engaged in sly, silky religious posturing that morphs into master and lord. He only lacks a horse and cape and “cue sound” for his thunderous, ominous approach, waving shouts of “libel!” as his mace. Like the armies of huns and mongols and invading turks, “suppression!” is his battle cry.

He seriously believes he has the correct definition of freedom of speech, and it is a lot more confined and confining than ours. Like, we get confined for 12 years if we open our yaps about the stench that emanates from the brains of the privileged.

The only thing that keeps the occupiers from hauling our bloomer bedecked derrieres off and flaying them is the internet and the knowledge that the entire world is watching. And they are trying to worm their way around that.
Two citizens visiting the Senate chambers . . .

Cybercrime Act my overlarge backside.
Citizen Oppression Act, libel enforcement of the internet built on the masterful illusion of caring for kids who are peddled for sex.
Clearly, legislators have learned from the Catholic Church. They’ve learned how to wield guilt and righteousness whilst avoiding the stigma attached to responsibility. Like responsibility for all the death and sickness and starvation in a nation the Church caretakes as moral custodians and the Legislature caretakes as legal custodians.
Who did it, I want to know. If not them, who?
The government recently hauled a 62 year old woman off to jail because she complained that miners were destroying the land and she ripped into the Mayor of her berg. The Sotto mentality got her. “Criticize the Mayor and learn your place, Woman!”
From the inside of a stinking cell.
They allow extra-judicial murderers to lie in wait like the biggest ugliest crocodile you can imagine. They don’t cage the beast. They WANT it out there as a stark dark reminder to the common people that “you best not get out of line”.
Fear is palpable in the Philippines. It is there every day. Lying, lurking. The knowledge that there are mean bastards with power here, and they know no limits. The alien monsters are drooling and snarling and they are in charge of this nation.
U-tube is the only thing keeping the Philippines from regressing directly back to the dark ages.
The soul of the occupiers is akin to that of Darth Vader. On some days you can hear the heavy breathing and swear it is enhanced by a borg machine behind the curtains pumping life and wisdom into a lifeless apparatus called Senate . . ..
Have you ever seen such a body of highly schooled people getting nothing done so magnificently? No RH Bill, no FOI Bill, no Divorce Bill, sitting on their SALN’s. In the real world, among the commoners, they would call such achievement incompetence.
Here, it is just another day.
Because the Philippines is occupied.
And the occupiers play by their own rules. And they really don’t give a box of bon bons about the natives. Except as to how they can be used to best advantage.
The proof is in their putrid, non-performing pudding, and their choice of acts that suppress over acts that open the government up to forthright inspection by the natives.
The Inquirer won’t print the headline.
But you know, and I know, the nation is occupied.
31 Responses to “Angry Maude Reports: Invasion of the Philippines”
  1. Anonymous says:

    MaudeYou are too graceful, word of kindness of Joe or old American habits are hard to discard. Invasion is so passe. Apt is "Philippines Pilloried or Ravaged". Occupied is politically correct. Right on the money, though! Johnny Lin

  2. Anonymous says:

    To Joe on the sideReading that speech of Obama in your blog upon landing in Taiwan airport which I missed because we were already called for boarding to Manila at JFK reminded me of my partisan Filipino friends in the stricken Hurricane Sandy areas. My anti-Obamacare colleagues campaigned and argued vigorously against him because they worry their on their high income taxes. Many of them were illegal aliens for a long time which they conveniently have forgotten. My hardworking friends were secretly rooting or campaigning for Obama because he could become their savior to the coveted Green Card. Two opposite masks of Filipinos in America with one common interest: personal. Aint Filipinos perspective interesting? Everywhere, at home or abroad politically, it is always about "Me First"Johnny Lin

  3. Cha says:

    Oh Maude, you sure don't dsappoint! That espresso shot should get me fixed for a good couple of days. The hubby's liquor supply is safe for the weekend.Now about these aliens that's descended on my beloved mother country, you reckon a few handsome men in black (I bet JoeAm will look good in that!) bearing some of the world's deadliest hardware (hey, I mean the likes of laptops and somesuch, not that other one!) and a couple of gorgeous but badass women (ehem! like maybe the two of us ) can maybe one day save the day? We'll flash those horrible aliens our pearly white smiles and maybe more, if that's what it takes.Or maybe we can just keep blogging away with espresso cups on hand eh? I bags the Smirnoff though.

  4. Anonymous says:

    The least one can do is to lie on one's back and enjoy. That is from former senator Manglapus who, as foreign affairs secretary, was asked his thoughts on the rape of an OFW. Of course, I'm paraphrasing Manglapus in regard to our topic of our elite "colonizers" and victimizers.DocB

  5. Glad I was able to get the speech to you. It was historic and classic preacher-man Obama. Be sure to catch tomorrow's blog. I deal with the "me first" attitude, among other oddities of the Philippine cultural experience, amplified by Obama's rich understanding of democracy.

  6. Oh, Johnny, you smoothie you. You certainly know how to get a girl's blush going. I'm talking about your words, not your clever flirtations, which I can see through like a hot knife through warm butter. "Pilloried!" "Ravaged!" I'll add those to "raped and pillaged" the next time I describe our Senate in action. Or inaction, as the case is likely to be.

  7. Anonymous says:

    Maude,When did the 'invasion of body snatchers' start? Also when did 'Matrix' began?DocB

  8. Well, Doctor Happily Married Man, if any guy tried to imposed his will on me, he'd quickly be out in the henhouse looking desperately for a couple of new eggs, if you catch my drift. But your point is good, seeing as to how the Congress has us all bent over the old proctologist's bed post with their agenda and lawmaking being cold and uninvited. "Grin and bare it", I always say.

  9. Hey, GF. Glad to perk up the old cerebral cortex or whatever parts get stimulated by Kickapoo Joy Juice or espresso de butte. Jojo looks stunning in black, tall and dignified, and packs a mean keyboard. His only problem is he tends toward kindness and courtesy when a good kick in the ass is called for. But I'm working on him.Cheers! Hi to the hubby.

  10. Well, Doc HMM, I never said I was Rod Sterling or even logical. You know how we ladies are driven by the curlyques of emotion, not the square right-angled logical paths you guy guys tread. I also mix my metaphors like a cat on a hot can of spilled milk.Or, put another way, "I have no idea."

  11. Anonymous says:

    My guess is the invasion started with the Paterno-led Pact of Biyak-na-bato with Spain and Matrix with the rise of Obama, Arab Spring. That's at least a century difference.DocB

  12. Edgar Lores says:

    1. The occupiers as identified by this gorgeous rave are:• The pampered patrons of dynastic privilege (love the alliteration)• Senator Sotto, the Mayor of Gonzaga and their ilk• Legislators2. This is a strange reversal of the Occupy protest movement which was anti-establishment. In our country it is the Establishment that is the occupier.3. I am developing a small piece about the first occupiers. I might post it here if it fits.4. “ History is taking place instantaneously but on a magnificent spacial quantum twist of cohesion that we can only grasp iteratively.”4.1 History can only be understood iteratively. Millions have been massacred and we have not learned the lesson. That is why it’s still happening again and again and again.4.2 The “spatial quantum twist of cohesion” coherently describes the new theory about the formation of the universe. It is called Quantum Graphity. This theory suggests that space (spatial) is made up of tiny atoms (quanta) that form the building blocks of the universe. Their “twist of cohesion” produces the unique personae of Maude and Edgar.4.3 Finally there is the concept of parallel universes which are simultaneously created by the choices presented to us. Our histories of choices are separately and instantaneously recorded in each universe.4.4 Easy peasy.

  13. Okay, I see the context of your question now. I don't really know Spanish/Philippine history very much. I know Rizal was complaining about it 125 years ago, and obviously solutions then were just as brutal as death squads are today. So before that. If the Matrix is democracy and liberty for the people, like freeing the people from those horrible slime machines where we first met that hunka hunka Keanu Reeves. You should do a blog for JoeAm on it. He's always looking for fresh voices, I know.

  14. Oh, Edgar, you just give me chills with your precise incisions. Your number 2 is a very good pick-up. I can see why that psyche lady over at Rappler is breathing heavily for your . . . um, mind. My lost verbage came from a recent reading of Crichton's "Timeline", which explored infinite parallel universes.Thank you for your kind words. My keyboard has a stuck "p" key, basically, is where that illiteration came from. It is a rather good line, if I do say so myself.

  15. Coco says:

    I know that it sounds old fashion, but in my world it takes two to tango. Colonisers need people to be colonised and the majority of Filipinos are extremely good at this (note I did’t use my usual "very good"). This Filipino attitude of acceptance must have started with a handsome, forceful Malay captain on one of the ships that landed on the Filipino shores a few thousand years ago. Promising his fellow travellers plenty of roasted pork made them accepting whatever he wanted. Later Chinese, Arab, Spanish, American did build on his modest beginning. Current rulers easily building on the colonising art as developed by their predecessors and the Filipinos, too preoccupied with lechon, forgot what it is to live an independent live.

  16. ps, I am sure Jojo would love to publish your piece about the first occupiers. He rather thinks you write good.

  17. Well, Choco, where is James Michener when you need someone to dredge up ancient history? You are possibly right, it takes two to make a very excellent tango. But the Philippines is now developing a third class, called technologically plugged in middle, so the upper and the lower have to go through the middle mud to deal with one another. And the middle muddle WILL get larger. That is likley to be a super-fly in the hysterical historical ointment.

  18. Coco says:

    Isn't that why they did try to send this middle class abroad? But now with all these new electronic media, they will have to plug these gutters of libellous thoughts.(But sometimes, when I slept well, had a tasty meal and with no typhoons around, I share your optimism)

  19. Edgar Lores says:

    There are several arguments for allowing political dynasties to remain unchecked. For lack of space, I will concentrate on the two major ones:1. The Constitution guarantees bona fide candidates the right to run for office. Article IX, Section 10.2. The Constitution guarantees universal suffrage. Article V, Section 1.These main arguments stem from the ideal and primacy of freedom. The two freedoms are guaranteed by the Constitution and must be maintained at all costs.It must be noted the pro-dynasty advocates contend the first “freedom” argument recognizes that dynasties do not constitute a disease. And the second argument observes that if there was a disease, the prescription lies primarily with the electorate. It’s rather funny: a solution is being offered where no problem is seen to exist!The Constitution, in Section 2 of Article II, explicitly acknowledges that dynasties – however the term is defined – represent a threat to “equal access of opportunities for public service”. It states that political dynasties are prohibited. That is crystal clear.This provision by itself invalidates the first freedom argument. The Constitution does recognize there is a disease. And it does not guarantee the right of everyman to run. It qualifies that only “bona fide” candidates can. Clearly, dynasts are not such candidates. Given this, there should be no need to rebut the second argument. If dynasts cannot run, then it naturally follows that voters cannot select them.The only issue remaining would be in that unfortunate conditional phrase “as may be defined by law”. Congress has an Anti-Political Dynasty Bill but its successful passage is as likely as a snowball’s chance in Hell. Note that if the Bill is correctly configured by the occupying legislators, members of a dynasty are not absolutely prohibited to run; they would be allowed to within certain constraints of time, office and other factors.Leaving this catch-22 aside, there is another important viewpoint to consider against dynasties. This viewpoint is not suggested in the Constitution and it has to do with the “dynamics of power”.A democracy, like any system, has several components, two of which are structure and purpose. The raison d’être of democracy is to preserve the rights and freedoms of the individual and, in the Philippines, the structure is in the form of a republic.A fundamental principle of democracy is the separation of powers. This principle is based on the idiomatic perception that “power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely”. Power cannot be concentrated in one man, or a few man, or class of men, or informal groups of men; it must be divided to avoid abuse. In our implementation of this fundamental principle, we have the tripartite structure of the Executive, the Legislative and the Judiciary branches. The powers of each branch are limited by the other two branches in an arrangement of checks and balances.In our country, it cannot be denied that dynasties constitute an undue concentration of power perhaps not seen in any other democratic country; otherwise, there would be no debate. And here we arrive at the paradox which lies at the heart of the debate: dynasties, the existence of which is premised on freedoms, constitute a potential abuse and threat to the very freedoms that give them life.In our country, that potential has turned into an actuality, that threat into a reality.Apologists will no doubt argue that the “freedom” arguments are of supreme primacy and are greater than the “dynamics of power” argument. They would be sorely mistaken. Dynasties in their excesses have become a systemic structural fault. And the fault is so great that it requires a systemic solution in the form of law. The Constitution says so.The structure of the democratic system has to be strengthened in order to preserve freedom. And to safeguard freedom, it must be realized that certain limitations can and must be imposed.

  20. I wish us normalities all good sleep and delicious food and calm weather. And may those cretins from Planet Xon toss and turn and dine on worms and ride the wild ride of daily typhoons. They've earned it. 😉

  21. My, Mr. Edgar, you do test a girls ability to think with reason instead of emotion.As I was penning a response to Choco, above, it struck me that this beast can be tamed by a vibrant middle class, say the knights of the round table, where the table houses the computer and the sense that ought to be common, but is yet uncommon. There is nothing wrong with a dynastic pedigree as long as others have the same opportunities. As the middle class grows, we will see popping out an occasional pearl of common sense and adoration, and will elect it to office.Right now the fish pond is small and the fish are inbreeding like mad. We need a bigger pond. The benefits are two: more varied choice of fish, and louder voice yelling at the miscreants who are making off with the public's treasure and opportunities.I fear the fish will never pass a law that constrains their opportunities or power. Perhaps we can set an example of an outspoken public, watching, and warning . . . and at least make the waters a little dangerous for THEM.

  22. Anonymous says:

    These invaders feed on our fears and derive their power from subvertingour will to reason. They aim to keep us ignorant and submissive to theirdictates. I fear a bigger pond will only help the morph into biggersharks. Maybe, what we need is a wormhole to reach that point of divergenceto a parallel universe.

  23. Maude's gone to bed so I'll respond. She was moping in her Kickapoo Joy Juice because the neighbor's dog chewed up her best girdle.If the Philippines keeps its steady growth going, and builds tourism, trade, agriculture, entertainment (casinos), and call centers, it will develop a much larger core of people who are engaged in what is going on politically. The isolation of the ruling class, built on a large gap between the privileged and the working masses, will erode. The current fuss about dynasties is a part of that isolation eroding. At some point the electorate will make a statement. Maybe in 2013, maybe 2016, maybe later. The statement: "No more privileged class; we elect for competence." I hope it plays out that way.

  24. Chief of Cyber Police Sotto could not have passed this cybercrime law if benign0's 188 non-reading, non-understanding congresspeople did not approve of this. Till it was approved it was found out that Senators did not read the bill after all.So, these congressmen and senators are illiterate? They do not read the bills they pass? The Filipinos have until January to overturn this cybercrime law. If they do not, all will be quiet in the cyberspace. All will be incancerated.Sotto will have the last laugh of attacking him of plagiarizing a Florida woman.Of course, Sotto, knows revenge. Who doesn't?LET KNEEL. HANDS TOGETHER. HEADS UP. EYES TO HEAVEN. SAY AFTER ME …. "Your father, whose Michaelangelo's art on the ceiling, Hollowed is the name, thy crime they come, on earth and in heaven …

  25. Sotto must be supported by the oligarchs to push the cybercrime bill so oligarchs can dance on rainy days to keep cyber-anarchists away …We are all doomed … I'm on Philippines no-land, must-fly-abroad-and-not-come-back list … we will all be declared persona-non-grata.

  26. The invaders landed on March 15, 1521 in Limasawa and said their first mass and annexed these 7,100 island to the King of Spain and named it Philippines after King Phillip.The other invaders from China. They came earlier than Spaniards. They sired Co Huang Co, Tans, Lims, Chop Suey, Kung Pao … They divvied up the islands among themselves. To this day, they still hold dominion over Filipino pygmies and aborigines.Thank be to God, the sufferings of the Filipinos will send them to heaven. The Spanish conquistadores and Chinese slave traders will also go to heaven because they are the instrument of the sufferings which is the instrument to go to heaven. As their god said: IT IS EASIER FOR A POOR MAN TO PASS THRU THE EYE OF THE NEEDLE THAN A RICH MAN.Since I've been quoting that quote and it looks bad on religion, THEY HAVE RE-DEFINED IT'S MEANING AND SHOULD NOT BE INTERPRETED LITERALLY. That is why I do not bother to read the bible because WHAT IS THE USE? IT CANNOT BE INTERPRETED LITERALLY. It is better for my broken englischtzes it can be understood than the bible.They divvied up Phil

  27. Does anyone know here that the Roman Catholic and the Philippine Catholic church regime are in favor of Cyber Crime Law? Thou shall not attack Jesus Christ and his church, else, …… The church likes mind-control. They sooo love Sotto. The church will not ex-communicate you all. The church can recommend to benign0's Supreme Court to incancerate you all in the dungeon of hell.

  28. From this point forward, we shall annoint the dark senator "Cyber Sotto". JoeAm also figured out that this is an Aquino bill. That's why his Justice people shoved at least four copies of the language onto congressional desks. They figured maybe one in four could read, and would propose the bill. So we know that 25% are indeed literate at some level.Your prayer is classic. I shall nominate it to the JoeAm Hall of Hallowed Quotes. Cracked me up.

  29. Yes, I am sure they are figuring out how to make the economic boom collapse. It is creating too many enlightened people, a middle class, with keyboards and brains. They need pawns and peons to support their castles. We are a huge threat.

  30. I noticed that interpretations of the Bible are very fluid, with the meaning ususally keyed to what the person interpreting the quote wants to get. God works in mysterious ways.

  31. Yes, that makes sense. The Church likes the one-way door where they can enter Caesar's buildings and raise havoc, but no one can enter the Church building and do the same. God works in mysterious ways.

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