JoeAm’s Delusions of Grandeur

I was accused the other day by a commenter on Riassa Robles’ Top Blog of having ulterior motives for writing blog articles. The guy is pro Sultan, which may give you an idea of his reason for not taking kindly to JoeAm’s defense of President Aquino in the Sabah matter. His accusation is that I really have no interest in the Philippines. He says I am only writing to prove my intellectual superiority to Filipinos. I’ve left out all the flicking and fricking words that accompanied the message.  Here’s the link if you wish to see pure hostility at work

My answer was rather simple as I know when I’m responding to a mind that has no bend to it and emotions that do not permit reason.

But, indeed, as in all things, there are hidden truths. And so, my loyal Society associates, whom I might add were also insulted in that extraordinary comment,  I must offer my confession. I aspire to demonstrate that I am smarter than y’all, that I can (1) enumerate wisdom better than Edgar, and write international stuff better than “J”, and talk family better than Cha, and prowl the internet better than Andrew, and be an artistic wild man better than Mariano, and laugh and remember things better than . . . um . . . better than . . . oh, yes, I recall . . . better than Johnny he he.
Indeed, my aspirations to superiority know no limits. I often put myself into the shoes of President Aquino to see where he is walking. Boy am I puffed up when I jam into those little wingtips. They are for sure tight about the toes, but, hey, Chinese women break their feet for beauty, so we superiors do what we must do.  But, frankly, it’s a little hard these days because there are so many other Filipinos already in those shoes pretending they know better than Mr. President how to handle tricky and deadly international incidents like Sabah. They have no information, and no solutions, but boy howdy, passion requires no intelligence to be loud.
So today, I am going to reach for new heights. I am going to step out of the President’s shoes and into the  lace-up boots, black in color, shiny of toe, of Abraham Joseph Rizal.
By the way, did you know that Abraham Lincoln and Joe America are EXACTLY the same size at 6′ 3 1/2″, and weighing 190 American pounds. Unbeknownst to the museum curator at the Henry Ford Theater Museum, down in the basement below where the President was shot, JoeAm slipped into Abe’s dinner jacket. Perfect fit. I mean perfect.
Or maybe that was Mary Ford Theater. All those American oligarchs. I get confused.

But I digress.

So allow me to channel Abe today in my address:
(Deep, rich Abe-like voice) Hello my fine Filipino friends. It is good to be with you here at the Araneta Coliseum tonight.
Yo, sound guy! Would you kindly adjust the gain a bit? The feedback sounds like General Lee wheezing under duress of cannons to left and cannons to right.
Two score and seven years ago, I was brought forth upon this earth destined to free Filipino men and women from the bondage of the dynasties. And the oligarchs. The rich guys from China that make the Forbes billionaire list by stepping upon the backs of poor and innocent Filipinos who drudge mightily for a few pesos a day.
I’m here to show you the way, and to prove my mighty mental muscularity over you ordinary Filipinos who could not figure this out if you sat 60 to a room for 50 years  in one of the DepEd’s sweat shops for children. In the modern vernacular of the educational wizards at DepEd that is called a “classroom”, but you and I both know what it is.
It is a place where children are shut down rather than opened up.
It is a place where kids learn to be discouraged and ignored, rather than inspired.
It’s a place where young people are charged money to take exams, as if it were a privilege to be proved unsuccessful.
Here’s my grand solution!
The Philippines needs a middle class.
Yes, that is what is required.
Look, there are 400 people with names and money at the top, 6,000 people with middle class income, and 94,993,600 people slogging for peanuts.
Now, contrary to what some might think, I am not a war monger nor am I a revolutionist. I am a pragtologist. That is rather like a proctologist, but I look into a different orifice.
I look at a hole in the top of the economy through which pass brains on the way to America and Australia and labor to Dubai and Egypt.  Give us your inspired and ambitious masses exclaim the rich states, and we will give them what you refuse to provide: opportunity.
And that’s precisely what I look around for daily.
I  look for opportunity offered with common sense pragmatism by the Philippine government and Philippine businesses. It’s my passion.
And I have discovered the shocking truth. In the Philippines, opportunity is a big fat zero for 97.2% of the population.
Now given this astounding fact, which is accurate within a 72.3% range for error, we superiors are inclined to ask, why does the nation refuse to provide opportunity?
Because it is into authority and obedience and does not have the strength of confidence to let Filipinos fly free to achieve.
Because DepEd teaches obedience rather than innovation and the bosses instill submission rather motivation. No one here knows how to make Filipino hearts soar with hope. With REAL hope, not some Sotto plastered political  spin that yaps about hope but is just the same old proctologists delight.
Because the schools stifle and the employers stifle and the dynasties plug their family members into all the cool jobs that could be the DREAM, the hope, the motivation of the working stiffs.
If the Philippines only knew what CAREER meant. If the Philippines knew what fairness of employment opportunity, and what freedom really meant.
There are no careers in the Philippines. The dynastically gifted bounce from job to job, getting sucked along by Grandpappy’s fame and Pappy’s calling in of a few favor chips. Real CAREERS require effort and innovation and problem solving and productivity. The Philippine family favoreds just schlep along plugging up the channels of hope.
And so, my finely feathered Filipino friends, ya’ll remain screwed until such time that the nation recognizes that AUTHORITY does not motivate, it constrains. And memorization is not intelligence, it is upchucking by the numbers. And freedom is the great release of human aspiration. It is not something that requires libel suits hung on it or courts that give no access to the poor.
Insecurity is a bitch, restraint a bastard.
Dump them and let’s rock.
[Cue Bill and Ted on air guitars.]
17 Responses to “JoeAm’s Delusions of Grandeur”
  1. Edgar Lores says:

    1. Anger is an interesting emotion. Just yesterday I sent a Powerpoint slide to my son that said: “Anger is a sign of frustration, either (a) at the injustice of an unfair challenge or (b) at our lack of preparedness to meet a fair challenge. Life will present us with both types of challenges.”2. If you google “types of anger”, you get 2 types, or 4 types, or 8 types, or as many as 12 types.2.1 The 12-type classification seems to be a catalogue of the different “responses” one can make when one is angry.2.2 The 8-types and-4 types seem to be a confused classification of the “object” of anger and the “degree” of anger.2.3 The 2-types is an analogy to a volcano and a brewer.2.4 My 2-type classification is according to “source” of anger.3. In my classification, the response of anger in the first instance has been called “righteous”. It arises from knowledge. We have a standard of behaviour that we have in mind but that is not being met. There is an unfair situation – like warlords killing political opponents or senators misbehaving – and this strong emotion arises in us at the injustice of it.3.1 In the second instance, the response of anger is, naturally, “unrighteous”. It arises from ignorance. There is a situation which we do not fully understand and this strong emotion arises in us because we have identified with an element in the situation, and so we lash out.4. The trouble is we often mistake the second instance for the first instance. The commenter in Raissa’s blog seems to have fallen into this trap. So his anger is ad hominem.5. Whether righteous or not, the response of anger is unskilful. That is according to Buddha. No, I have not reached that stage of enlightenment. But interestingly enough I have attained – at times – a calmness of mind when confronted with one of life’s challenges.5.1 I seem to be able to see, as it were, from a distance. I am still engaged in the situation, but my mind instead of reacting is analysing. Why do we have this situation? What can we do about it? Isn’t the breeze nice?5.2 It’s pretty cool.6. Cooler still would be that commenter in Raissa’s blog apologizing. Perhaps not to us. But to himself for being such an ass.7. And being cool allows us to see solutions such as the need for a bigger middle-class. But to be able to see that we must be positively chill.

  2. Ahh, that 3. term "righteousness". I am in the middle of a blog that deals with the variability of morality, where morality hangs on righteous values. We often behave as if there were only one correct "morality", ours, but there are many of them and when they misalign, angers erupt. The trick is to comprehend other moralities rathern than condemn then. Then it is possible to merge them rather than try to beat each other to death.

  3. Cha says:

    "All generalizations are dangerous, including this one".

  4. That may be. Space travel is also dangerous, but it is the path of knowledge and accomplishment and fulfillment of man's desire to grow. I suppose it depends on how generalizations are used. If they are applied to limit, by cramming others into a box, that is bad. If they are applied to synthesize observable facts to find themes or reasons, they they are a path to knowledge.Frankly, I like the little buggers better than facts. Generally.

  5. andrew lim says:

    I wont be surprised if that commenter ends up hating Pnoy on every other issue, like Ellen. Too many Filipinos afflicted with that disease of "my enemy in one issue is my enemy on all issues". Good thing I dont know that much about the Sabah issue, nor am I that interested.

  6. Yes, anger transfers, doesn't it.I grasped a huge enlightenment this morning reading a blog comment. The Sultan is claiming land. But Sabah is people, not just land. So he believes the people belong to him.

  7. Edgar Lores says:

    Cha,Nothing is absolute, including this statement.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Haha, nice. I remember a debate about "truths". One argued "There is no absolute truth.", I think "including this statement" is very appropriate on that sentence.

  9. In the Philippines, using words like EDUCATED, INTELLECT, INTELLIGENCE in the first person are taboo. Of course, it is stuck-up condescending to use these in first person my issue is Filipinos jump on anyone without listening or reading and digistenng the rest of the sentence.FILIPINOS HATE ANYONE SUPERIOR THAN THEM especially from a “foreigner” transplant. IT IS CULTURAL that Filipinos do not want to admit that it is culturel. They just go on and on to defend that it is not cultural. Religion is the reason Filipinos do not want superiority. Religion taught them to be humble and not superior learned from constant bombardment from their churches’ sermon and religious madrasas.I’ve been called bading, bayot, gay, retard. They even dragged my long-ago dead Lolos and Lolas into the fray for being superior than their lousy comments that are allowed by Alan and Raissa. Well, Alan and Raissa are Filipinos what do I expect. Alan and Raissa would rather have a polite and courteous gentlemanly looney comment than my self-important condescending riot of superior comments.In the Philippines it is smoke and mirrors. Their salas is the tidiest place in Filipino household. Just do not venture into their kitchen and toilets. These are the grossiest dirtiest place. Sala is what people wanted to believe while they hide their dirt in the toilet and kitchen.FILIPINOS DO NOT ASPIRE FOR SUPERIORITY that is why Filipinos are inferior. Their maximum attainable success is a NURSE. The closest a Filipino can get to the White House is a cook. And please Filipinos, California Supreme Court Justice is definitely not a Filipino. She’s an American whose parents are indigenous Philippine inhabitants that immigrated to America so is Miley Cyrus, Phoebe Cates and other non-Filipnio looking Americans that are claimed by Filipjinos as Filipnos that includes Jessica Sanchez. SO, THEREFORE, BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA IS NOT AN AMERICAN but a Kenyan. I SO LOVE THE MINDS OF THE FILIPNOS.

  10. Und ich bien ein Deutchlander.That is an interesting dynamic that you describe. It is the opposite of aspiration. Not subservience, exactly, not passivity. It is like anti-gravity, suppressing the natural desire to grow and become more than we are today. And, yes, the society that results is very close to being a nation of monks, each monk in the barest of clothing authorized his 10 pesos of rice, then meditating throughout the day, dawn to dusk, whilst jamming rice into the mud or peddling round and round the city streets.Round and round.

  11. Attila says:

    Renato:General Robert E. Lee is waiting to be discovered as Chinese Filipino.

  12. Anonymous says:

    Hey Joe, why dont you start the 'Ask a Kano' already..?!

  13. I've got the answers if you've got the questions. 🙂

  14. Anonymous says:

    1. Why do Kanos hang a flag on their porch?1.1 Do ya'll do it on Independence Day only?

  15. Why do Filipinos do not hang PHilippine flag on independence day? But hang American Flag instead. Whereas, Mexicans proudly hang flags during Cinco de Mayo.

  16. Anon, great questions. I started to answer here but will reserve it for the next edition of "Ask America" planned for next week.

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