Angry Maude: “What Kind of Asylum You Running Here?”

angry maude 500Guest Article by Maude Garrison

My sweety is still on Palawan but I got so steamed that I had to tear myself away for a few days to compose myself. Well, as much as an erupting volcano can be composed. Jojo offered me the chance to release my frustration by writing this article, and I am happy to shout through my keyboard at you lunatic Filipinos. It’s been a while since we have corresponded.

Once I get this off my chest, which is not exactly of small proportions, I can get back to my hunka-hunka macho man, Jose Esperado. Esperado is no desperado. He’s a classy Filipino of the working class. His job is to man one of those tourist boats that ply the coast of Palawan in what Bejing says are Chinese waters. He goes from the docks to the Underground River and back. We’ve set up camp there at a nifty hotel a walking distance from the docks. He can’t afford it, but I can, and he’s happy to come home sweaty and tired and fall into my welcoming arms. Hubba hubba!

But, as Joe is inclined to say, “I digress” and not even the heat of Jose will hold me from my appointed task, to ask:

What in the Hell is going on here, people?

We hear a quiet and meek whistleblower named after a gladiator telling us how some superwitch has been casting greedy spells on the power class of the Philippines to grab billions of pesos of taxpayer money in exchange for funneling about half of it back to line the pockets of the power people whilst she lines her tax forms with blank spaces that do not show the dozens of properties she has purchased as about the only place she could PARK so much cash, other than her bathtub.

Now I know that is a long sentence. Take it slowly. Read it one phrase at a time. You’ll get it.

How many people were in on this scam do you figure? 20? 50? 100? 500?

And it took a long-haired geeky guy named Ben Hur, or Benhur in the Filipino vernacular, who looks nothing like Charlton Heston even in his black SWAT-patrol flak vest, to rat them out.

The power people, the senators and representatives, their aides, the accountants, the Department of Agriculture honchos spitting out illicit projects faster than a cornered cobra on a mongrel puppy, the real estate people, the bankers . . .

And only ONE GUY ratted. He did it because they didn’t treat HIM richly, too! He didn’t do it because of the values involved, the ETHICS, the laws. He ratted because he didn’t get his fair cut.

Well, okay, a couple of other meek people also chimed in telling gory stories of fake signatures and cash in the tub and stealth deliveries of laundry bags filled with banknotes.

I peg the number of people who knew about the escapade, who KNEW that something fishy was stinking to high heaven, and indeed who were helping spread the stench, yet did nothing about it, to be MORE than 100. Maybe as many as 500 considering all the fake LGUs and NGOs and SOBs in operation. Educated people. High class people. Attorneys like that Reyes dame who is cooling her heels in Macau and spitting spite at her former boss.

People who during the day talked a good line in their official work. Who represented the government as the trusted caretakers of the People’s taxes and business.

Many who TOOK AN OATH about serving the Philippines honorably.

A bunch of CRAP. THAT’S what they deal, every word, from their mealy, moth-ridden, maggot spewing mouths. What a detestable bunch of morally bankrupt people who shame the names Catholic and Filipino and the good words of honor and compassion.

Squatters are living and dining on trash heaps and this pig-witch is buying condos in Los Angeles so her 23 year old glamour queen daughter can strut her long legs down Hollywood Boulevard pretending she is not a beneficiary of her mother’s porky prostitutions.

And y’all are listening with rapt attention to the holy roller preacher Guingona and his tribe of pontificating senatorial judges speak as if they were bathed in the innocence of angels, a glow of silver goodness upon the shoulders where dirty, grimy robes ought to rest. As if they DID NOT KNOW the whole system of discretionary expenditures is rife with favoritism and payments that skirt the edge of ethical rectitude or are outright illegal. This Blue Ribbon Panel pretends righteousness. It ought to practice humble. It ought to practice humility. And apology.

It ought to say enough of this charade and urge to Ombudsman to act swiftly. These clowns ought to back the Justice Department in its overwhelming job of rooting out these plundering pig-dogs. NOT challenge the good Secretary of Justice in a battle of gonad balls as if we must diminish her standing to elevate that of the Senate.

Words NOT to use in the same sentence. Senator. Dignity.

Let’s all get on the same page here, Senators. Secretary De Lima is NOT the enemy. She is one of the heroes. As near as I can tell you senators are nothing more than pumped up blowhards who could not discern right from wrong if Jesus poked you in the eye.

Stop with the preening and posturing and PUNISH some people.

Right now!

PUNISH the BAD people who stole from the poor to line the pockets of the rich. You have an Ethics Committee. USE it. You listened to the witnesses. USE them. Go directly to ACTION without more of this endless running off at the mouth and posturing as if you were Megan Young on the boardwalk.

You’re not. She’s pretty. You’re ugly.

Act NOW!

And if you are a senator and your last name happens to be Enrile or Estrada or Revilla, kindly do something honorable for the Philippines for a change. Right now in the name of dignity for the nation. Go on leave of absence until you are either in jail or absolved BY THE LEGAL SYSTEM for your acts.

Here is a truism, no matter how much smoke you blow in your privilege speeches:

You cannot absolve yourself!

You have all the credibility of a stone cold dead hyena, if even that much.

For the good of the Philippines. Go on leave, and if you KNOW you are guilty of a crime, just resign and end this charade, this circus, this absurd farce.

Can you discern the good of the Philippines as a value you ought to UPHOLD, not throw piles of excrement at?

You say everyone else is the problem, not you?

You say there is nothing wrong here?

Get out of your office!

You are arrogant and morally despicable, and Filipinos are CRAZY if they let your conniving, thieving, dishonorable butts disgrace a senatorial desk for one more day.



The Philippine asylum is thick with them. The senate coddles them.

None of you legislators has any honor at this point. Nor the Cabinet secretaries and staff, the auditors, the financial people, the justice people, the money dealers who let billions of the taxpayers earnest money fly out the door with no one watching where it went.

The good among you should start working earnestly to earn honor back.

If there are any of you there.

If you know what honor means.

11 Responses to “Angry Maude: “What Kind of Asylum You Running Here?””
  1. Joseph-Ivo says:

    So well said, but…

    Fear. Look at the dates of all the whistle-blowers revelations, see the pattern and you will understand that you better be careful, there is a clear sign of death in the figures. Stay out, look in the other direction, your only safe option.

    Fear. Too big to go bust, the casino bankers told us and they were right. We taxpayers were glad to subsidize them, secure their access to insane bonuses. Jinggoy told us already that when you start jailing politicians for futilities like stealing a few million, you’ll have to jail all, democracy in the Philippines will collapse. So let’s move on, more pressing issues are waiting for our attention.

    Fear. 96 people killed in preparation of minor elections, minor local grudges. Can you imagine the possible bloodbath you can create by exposing billion dollar embezzlements? The past is the past, let’s move on now. We still love Imelda, don’t we?.

    Fear. Our constitution has checks and balances. Careful, it should be our first priority to follow the right procedures. A constitutional crisis is the last thing we need now. Let’s set up a commission first to evaluate the feasibility of assessing the potential consequences of any delaying tactics that we might be inclined to consider as being part of the upcoming defense.

    Fear is the tool of the powerful to stay in power. Fear of disasters, terrorist, financial crisis… fear, fear, fear. Fear is what will get the ruling class over this bump in the road.

    How to fight fear?

    • Yes, Joseph, you do cut right to the core. Fear is what causes people to put the knowledge of right and wrong aside. It is the rationalization that is palpable at the local level where goons execute the will of the powerful. And at the senatorial level, I suppose it is the fear that one’s career and life can be destroyed in the blink of an upset Enrile.

      I believe fear is being fought now on the internet and in social media. The distance and some measure of anonymity allow people to speak openly. Social media are empowering mass media by making them look the fool if they report wrongly or hide behind favoritism. I think we’ll get an FOI this year, and the officially empowered will start quaking in their boots at what might be revealed. Fear will change masters.

      So fear can be fought by putting tablet computers in kids’ hands far and wide.

  2. ella says:

    Wow a very angry and very true article. I wish a lot of Filipino tax payers will read this article. They will be so very mad at these creatures that they have voted and hopefully will never vote for them and anything of their likeness. They will also be so mad that they will use social media to expose all the wrong doings of these creatures, the so called lawmakers, chief of staffs, directors, bishops and whatever they are called.

    Yes, fear might be a factor but gezzzz we had fear for the past gazillion years and look at where the Philippines is still in compared to the rest of the world. Look at the number of poor Filipinos and they are still living in fear, not fear of getting killed because they are exposing something wrong but fear of dying because of hunger. The middle class in the Philippines will become none existent if these corrupt creatures will continue to rule the Philippines.

    Yes, it is time for the Filipinos to show they are mad, are thinking and are not afraid to act!

    • I agree with you, Ella. Anger in search of destruction is not good I think. But sometimes it is needed to cut through the thick layer of distortion and outright deceit that these intelligent weasels use. The Senate Blue Ribbon Committee can continue the charade, the dance, the hiding behind puff, or it can say, “this is not right, and we will do something about it”. There needs to be more impatience in the Philippines, I think. Impatience with people who don’t have the brains, the courage and the accountability to act straight. Not riots, mind you. But a demand for straightening this mess up right now. I’m personally fed up with the weasel-words cast as delicadeza and the delays cast as judicial prudence. Dealing straight is polite. Mealymouthing and ineffective work is rude.

      Cousin Jojo actually edited a few of my remarks because he does not like unbridled use of obscenity. 🙂

  3. brianitus says:

    I wish Filipinos can Hulk up and smash these pig-dogs in an angry frenzy. Roar!!!

    • Angry Maude says:

      Hey, mister. I like your style. Too bad I am attached to another hunka hunka.

      • brianitus says:

        LOL. No worries. Just get ’em pig-dawgs.

        Btw, I think the Blue Ribbon committee needs Benhur Luy. So far, those fellows sitting behind their desks are getting a free PR shield courtesy of that man. It’s a classic good vs evil polarization set-up job. If Queen Jenny Napoles really spills the beans, heads are really going to roll. Popcorn, peanuts and amazing TV ratings for all.

        • Angry Maude says:

          It would be fun to negotiate with that arrogant biddy. “You can spill the beans and get out in 25 years, and see what your daughter is like at age 48, or remain quiet and live with those green walls for 100 lifetimes and see everybody through a viewing cage.”

  4. Mariano Renato Pacifico says:

    Thank you, Maude. I’ve been meaning to use “LUNATICS” in conjunction with Filipinos in one sentence or phrase but I’d rather nut I prefer the politically correct “not reasonable” “not rationale” of course, the opposite of these two phrases is “LUNATIC”. My UCLA Masters Degree in Business Administration newphew taught me that. When my 5-year-old newphew was jumping on weighing scale he said “that was not smart” I said to myself that is very kind of him before it sank to me that “not smart” is actually “stupid” and the synonym of “stupid” is actually “not smart”. I did not get it right away because I am a Filipino.

    Yeah, you are right! It is impossible for one person to snuck away 10,000,000,000.00 by one single person. It took one peso short of his share Ben Hur ran to Papa. Even before Ben Hur there was Commission on Audit Report warning that guy from science department about fish odor in porks’ mouth BUT NOBODY PICKED IT UP even from U.P.-Graduate journalism graduates. NOBODY, until as usual, THERE WAS A WHISTLEBLOWER waiving affidavits of guilts.

    DUDE, this dude, already knows there was hanky-panky going on until he got shorted that he blackballed Napoles into giving more.

    THEY ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER. Ben Hur ratting on Napoles ratting on senators and congressmen ratting on everybody !!!! NOW, THE SENATE THAT INVESTIGATED RENATO CORONA did not want Napoles to testify !!!! Benigno is sooooo quiet. He gotta be quiet because he did escort service from cemetery to malacanang to NBI. After he did that NBI employees dropped like flies.

    • Mariano Renato Pacifico says:

      Benigno Aquino also used Development Assistance Program with pork oil slathered on it on every Senator that ousted Renato Corona as a payback! WoW! Drilon has already admitted. Others are mum pleading the 5th. One thing I like about Benigno Aquino despite what he had done is he is not garapal unlike Aling Glo; 2ndly, Benigno Aquino did not know it was a crime buying votes for impeachment by dangling multi-million DAP funds another name of one of his Pork Babies. I am not sure if these tsismis is true, surely, Benigno Aquino is not admitting or denying that was intent of the Pork, of course.

      Despite all the tsismis and accusation, I still prefer Benigno Aquino because he is afraid of his mom and protect the name of the Aquinos despite the Cojuancos and Hacienda Luisita.

    • Angry Maude says:

      Sweetie, you are my secret idol. You are about the only person hereabouts who can do indignity better than me. I must admit though that I have taken to reading your comments through two bent mirrors front to front so the literary genius gets bent into simple words my bimbo brain can grasp.

      It is astounding how much dirt is under the congressional rugs. No wonder they walk so slow to the podium. Bumps and dead bodies in the aisles. Enrile usually takes the back way in and out. He trusts no one.

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