Dear Son . . . Get Angry


The incredible (angry) hulk . . .

By Maria Cynthia Zamora


November 13, 2016, Sunday

Dear Son,

I saw your comments in the social media recently and noticed that you visit these particular accounts more often than before. There is an undertone of anger in your messages. I wonʼt ask you why. I assume I know why. But, next time you hit SEND button in your replies and shares, please think a minute. Reflect whether the subject is worth arguing, whether your remarks are plain out-burst of your sensitivity over the matter or you have a cause to fight for. Think whether you are arguing over trivial matter or something rational. Pause if you are still very angry.

Anger like fear is a negative emotion. It will make you feel bad and do stupid things. People who are angry are oftentimes unreasonable, defensive and difficult. I donʼt want you to be like this and at the same time, I donʼt want you to suppress your anger. It is bad to your peace of mind and health. So, let us know this emotion.

Everybody gets angry at different times, to varying degrees, on various stimulus. From mild anger to rage. Simple things to moral decay. This minute or next. Anger is as normal as having crushes in school. Like admiring a beautiful lady but not her knees. When one gets angry, it does not mean the person is bad. Perhaps, he is just having a bad time or trying to change a hard situation.

Then, what is anger? Anger is a reaction, a secondary emotion provoked by things that do not go with your belief or learning. It can be triggered by pain, dissatisfaction of what is happening, insults, bad news, even boredom. It can also be triggered by your own desire to correct things and make it work. Anger does not pop out of the blues but it is not for nothing. There must be a reason.

Anger is a never ending battle over right or wrong. It is paradoxical. It is bad and good by itself. It may be detrimental to the person and beneficial on the other side. It can block manʼs senses, ruin his well being, make him weak and powerless. Yet when captured, this enemy monster can empower the man with a strength that he himself may not know existed in his being. It has brought men and women a superior view of the world and significant changes. It has given them a name in the history.

It is instantaneous. It can explode in an instance hurting the person and those around him. Sad to say, nowadays, anger abounds in the social media where there are no arbiters. This is your world today. Emotions go uncontrolled. Ending, unknown. As much as possible, never express your anger in this medium unless you know how to recognize your anger, especially when you donʼt know at whom you are angry and do not know what you are arguing for.

Anger did not caused the wars. In my opinion, it is caused by fear, self interest, egoism and self entitlement. On the contrary, anger halted the Vietnam War. When young people of your age marched and camped in the Capitol Hill holding placards that said “Make Love Not War”, the world listened. It tamed a discriminating ideology in Eastern Europe and brought down the Berlin Wall to end a divide. Our country has a share of history, too, about angry people when people said “ENOUGH” to the dictatorship that caused so much pain and poverty. Oh, it was so glorious. It brought me to tears while watching it on television caressing your kuya on my tummy. Those people, those courageous people were rewarded with invisible medals of pure gold shining forever on their chests. No one must forget such time.

A sudden burst of anger is not good at all. So, learn to control it. Let me compare it to a two-lane highway with double straight line going to Hatred City. No choice but Left or Right lane. Pick the left lane, you go fast and straight. Braking abruptly is highly dangerous. Pick the right lane, you go slower but you can exit when necessary. When confronting an exit, slow down. Read the signs and directions for there is no GPS in anger.

When you are angry, follow these tips:

  1. Step back;
  2. Be silent. Study the situation. An enemy may be your best friend in the future. You will never know.
  3. Filter your anger based on the foundation of correctness and goodness with no prejudice to others. Ask yourself if your anger is justifiable or proportionate to the wrongdoings. Will it solve the problem?
  4. Speak your mind. Donʼt vent on wrongdoings but maintain respect.
  5. If you are still very angry, repeat 1,2 and 3. Remember, of all the emotions, it is the hardest to control. Use Anger with caution.

Now, my pending question. Why are you angry? Are you angry because someone opposed your views? Or are you angry because there are injustices and unfairness happening nowadays? If you can distinguish the difference between the two questions, then it will be easy for you to pick which lane you take.

Perhaps, confidently, you can get angry and gain an invisible medal too.




76 Responses to “Dear Son . . . Get Angry”
  1. edgar lores says:

    Just want to say: beautiful and illuminating.

    The 5-step tips work: pause, study, understand, respond, refine.

    (Will have more to say later.)

  2. karlgarcia says:

    Very nice.
    Pause and breath first.

  3. josephivo says:

    I would encourage the anger, it is a very strong source of energy. But know Graham’s “Hierarchy of disagreement”:

    Climb the ladder, away from plain insults, to ultimately find the central argument of the infuriating statement and refute it with undeniable arguments. (one could always ask Edgar for advice 🙂

    • I saw a member of the Trump staff on CNN, a Jewish man arguing that Trump is not a racist. Very smart guy, but obnoxious as hell, as he dwelt primarily at the bottom of the hierarchy. He would draw a conclusion, falsely, and then try to set it aside as agreed upon so that he could use it to launch other false statements. The agenda-bound moralizers like him abound, citing some perfect wisdom gifted to them from God, I guess. I tire of them because all of them together create the fictitious and dangerous fundamental beliefs we see in the Philippines and US. Pretty horrid mass thinking.

  4. Bert says:

    Oh, I love admiring beautiful ladies. And the knees most of all. Am I the angry type?

  5. Powerful words but i didn’t really expect to be coming from…. Nanay! LOL

  6. Istambay sa Kanto says:

    Well written. I know now how to handle “simbuyo ng damdamin”. Maraming salamat Nanay MCZ.

  7. edgar lores says:


    1. I have tried to map the physiological basis for anger. The simplified diagram above shows our basic responses to a perceived threat. I have used the term “trigger” instead of “threat” because as Maria Cynthia says, the stimulus can be anything: an event, a person, an action, a comment, or an imperfection. It can even be a non-event: boredom, as Maria Cynthia points out, or neglect by one’s spouse or parents.

    2. The physiological response to a perceived threat is called the fight/flight/freeze response. This response is shown under the “Primary Response” column. This response is part of our human (and animal) nature. Whether we like it or not, we respond to a threat in these three ways. What is not part of our nature is how we individually respond and the extent to which we respond.

    2.1. Indeed, we may not respond at all to a “perceived” threat because we do not see it as a threat. One man’s threat is another man’s promise. Non-beautiful knees may be a fetish.

    3. For each primary response, there arises a corresponding primary emotion. Anger arises from the fight response, fear from the flight response, and apathy from the freeze response.

    3.1. Again, perception is one-half of everything; the other half being the response. Some see Duterte as a threat to a civilized society; others see him as a savior of a crime-ridden society. To these others, Duterte does not provoke the primary emotion of anger, fear or apathy. He invokes… satisfaction.

    4. The freeze response usually ends badly for the responder – no, make that the non-responder.

    4.1. If the trigger were a comment, by not responding we allow its vileness or falsehood to stand. Here, Josephivo’s Hierarchy of Disagreement should be a guide. I commend members of The Society for limiting themselves – or trying to limit themselves – to the top 3 layers of the pyramid. (Personally for me, if an apologist is unsound in his reasoning (this is surely a tautology), I will stop responding to his contributions. It is not that I have frozen; it is rather that I am freezing him out. I no longer see the apologist as worthy of a response; he is no longer a threat.)

    4.2. If the trigger were a person, by not responding we allow him to dominate us. Silence is interpreted as submission. In this way, dictators are born.

    5. The flight response usually does not end in a satisfactory resolution. Here, we are avoiding the trigger. In avoidance, we may seek divorce or fly to another country.

    5.1. But it seems to be a law of life that whatever issues we seek to avoid will present to us again and again… until we resolve each by fighting or by acquiescence.

    5.2. So is it better to have fought than not to have fought at all? I think we have to push back with the 5-step wisdom presented here.

    6. The fight response usually ends in war, peace or stalemate.

    6.1. The least desirable outcome is war, wherein anger is stoked to increasing levels of mutual destruction. Wars tend to end in victory for one and defeat for another, but there are protracted wars — like the Jewish-Arab conflict.

    6.2. The next least desirable outcome of anger is a stalemate. We may not have achieved victory but neither have we bowed down to defeat. I believe this is the current status of social media and, indeed, the war of civilizations and the unending wars — such as between democracy and tyranny, between honesty and corruption, between justice and injustice, between ignorance and enlightenment, and between good and evil. The battles seesaw. There are periods of intense fighting and periods of dormancy.

    6.3. But because the war is never won, we are beset by anomie, always filled with anxiety and a nameless existential rage.

    6.4. I am not sure that the heightened rage of our times is due to the weakening paradigms of religion, but this is a factor. The secular world offers no wind-proof moorings, and politics has become the opium of the people.

    6.5. The most desired outcome, of course, is peace. The optimum peace outcome is to attain a consensual peace for all involved.

    6.6. The minimum peace outcome is for us to individually achieve an inner peace… even if consensual peace has not been achieved. This peace lies in the realization and knowledge that we have done our part, that we are doing our part.

    • chemrock says:

      Wow na wow. Helps me to understand myself a bit more. Thanks man.

    • karlgarcia says:

      perception depends on the beholder,what happens next is up to them.

    • edgar ,

      (I’m just getting caught up in all the commentary for the past 2 months… 😉 )

      I thought this was very apt and related to what Ireneo just commented in the Knowledge article here,

      “By the martial law standards which I know, most people are very bold, even careless nowadays.”

      Fight. Flight. Freeze.

      To place these three responses (they don’t have to be responses by the way, each can be stand alone actions) in on-the-ground context, let’s use a small reconnaissance patrol analogy.

      If you’re partaking in a squad size (12 men) patrol at night, your mission is fact-finding in nature.

      Because you’re in a very small element inside a potentially out-numbered scenario, you ensure you temper your boldness with some common sense.

      So in the course of that patrol movement from point A to point B then to point C, etc. etc. there’s this thing you have to consistently do to ensure situational awareness,

      that’s the Listening Halt… wherein the whole squad gets comfy and just listens (and smell and look around) for 5 minutes at least.

      You FREEZE not because there’s a threat or because you’re in fear, but to actively vet your surrounding. In the wild, predators and prey alike do this all the time… with some actually playing dead.

      If you come across an ambush or stumble on a bigger force, you FIGHT or FLIGHT, but if you’re not discovered it’s best to flee, so again flight doesn’t have to connote an act of cowardice, it’s tactical.

      As for FIGHT, one thing that guys over-estimate again and again are two very related things, 1. their ability to fight and 2. their ability to please a woman. So both these acts require a lot of self-awareness, and honesty, sadly most guys don’t think deeply about both,

      hence Ireneo‘s bold to careless observation.

      Fight. Flight. Freeze. There’s a time and place to do each, and none have to carry emotional stigmas, all three are valid acts, depending on the situation.

      This patrol analogy, IMHO can be used while hiking in the woods, typing away online, as well as protesting in the streets.

      Be aware. Always. And know your audience. Know your purpose.

      • edgar lores says:

        LCpl_X, The analogy and the refinements are apt in the situation of a potential threat rather than an actual one.

        The anticipatory FREEZE action has become instinct. It is interesting that animals that have no human contact (or have no large predators) lose this instinct.

        Re Irineo’s comment, I think it’s because people sense Duterte and his forces are not as organized and as formidable as were those of Marcos. Also, the cellphone and news and social media may be contributing to this boldness. One of the first things that Marcos did was to control media, and protests were vented thru stenciled flyers that had limited volume and distribution. Now, anyone can voice his dissent (or support) electronically, and be listened to by a million pairs of eyes and ears.

  8. Kamote Procopio says:

    Salamat Madam Thea!
    Your tips will really help in dealing with trolls out there.
    I am angry in a way because there are injustices and unfairness happening nowadays and most of us do not react and let things happen. When would be the time when Filipinos will say “ENOUGH!”.
    I guess I have to keep on repeating tips 1,2, & 3. ☺️

  9. Manny B says:

    if the ‘Nanay’ talking here is our Inang Bayan, I feel I am starting to get angry now…

  10. edgar lores says:


    1. In Buddhism, the causes of suffering are attributed to the three poisons: ignorance, greed, and anger.

    2. The poisons go by different names:

    o Ignorance is called delusion or confusion
    o Greed is called attachment or desire
    o Anger is called aversion or hatred

    3. Why does Buddhism limit the causes of suffering to these three? Are there not more causes such as ambition, poverty, violence, and war? I think the three poisons are like the three primary colors from which all other colors are derived.

    o Ambition is a composite of greed and ignorance
    o Poverty is mainly due to ignorance
    o Violence is an amalgam of ignorance and hatred
    o War is a composite of all three poisons — greed, hatred, and ignorance

    4. If we look at suffering in the Philippines, we can see that these three poisons are at the roots of our misery. We can see that our past and current presidents have imbibed these toxins and infected the general populace. It is often the case that each president carried more than one poison.

    4.1. If we start with Aguinaldo, his poison was greed. He gave up the revolution for a certain amount of Mexican pesos.

    4.2. If we jump to Marcos, his poison was also greed. He could have been the Lee Kuan Yew of the Philippines but he was too busy amassing gold, businesses, real estate, paintings, and shoes for his lady.

    4.3. Erap’s poisons were ignorance and greed. Greed not only of the material kind but also of the sensual kind.

    4.4. Gloria’s poison was greed. To me, this was shocking because the dire lessons of greed were so clearly and freshly limned in the downfalls of Marcos and Erap.

    4.5. In Duterte, we may have dodged the bullet of greed from Binay but we see the destructive force of ignorance and hatred. There may be material greed but sensual greed is more obvious.

    4.5.1. What is most interesting about Duterte is that, unlike any other predecessor, his primary poison is anger. As actress Agot Isidro posted, “Unang-una, walang umaaway sa iyo. As a matter of fact, ikaw ang nang-aaway.”

    4.6. I would say, though, that greed is the most obvious poison of our politicians.

    5 What are the antidotes to the three poisons?

    o The antidotes to ignorance are learning and wisdom.
    o The antidotes to greed are austerity and generosity.
    o The antidotes to anger are understanding and kindness.

    5.1. Can we Filipinos practice these antidotes more widely in our daily lives?

    • NHerrera says:


      Thanks for that Buddhist concept and the application on the recent Philippine leaders.


      A spectrum of traits, from

      altruism to egoism.

      A note on altruism: I read once that altruism practiced in the extreme for a group or country may have negative consequences. In this context, granting reasonable intelligence, knowledge or absence of substantial ignorance, a good leader may be placed somewhere in this spectrum.

    • karlgarcia says:

      We always concoct a recipe for disaster.

    • The PH government officials and the educated/moneyed class are usually inflicted with greed and anger. The masses are often suffused with ignorance and anger. The common denominator among our people is anger. Maybe as a country, what we really need is a nationwide anger management program? We, as a catholic nation, are supposed to be loving, kind and forgiving but we became so superficial that we often pay lip service to good values but do not practice them.

  11. josephivo says:

    Oxford Dictionary word of the year? “Post-truth”

    We live in a world were truth comes no more on the first place. Emotions and personal beliefs come first. Brexit, Duterte, Trump… and of course the social media. Personal beliefs or opinions supported by emotions, and anger being a strong one.

    For people believing in the enlightenment this is difficult to understand. But the post-truth offensive is going on for quite some time with powerful allies. In content: creationism, the “hoax” of climate change, the selective use of data by Monsanto and pharmaceutical companies… In form: comics, prominence of “teenage” language, virtual reality… Russia and China in the good old communist tradition redefining words and concepts and therefore so attractive to Duterte? (Human right as citizens’ privileges defined by the leader?)

    Education does not seem the solution, as more and more people are educated and the enlightenment principle are getting lost and teachers are no more the elite of society but just servants. A charismatic leader bring back enlightenment? With Marcos or Pacquiao as possible new president we shouldn’t expect any. Will the data-mining of the Googles and Amazons of this world bring us back to reality? But more likely their commercial minds will push them to define a more lucrative selective “truth”.

    The only solution I see is more transparency of this enormous commercial and state databases and the algorithms mining for information. Their powers will define the future. Peer to peer initiatives, the OpenAI project of Elon Musk and similar movements?

      • josephivo says:

        It is not only the technical solutions, it is “who has control and who has access?” Distributed knowledge is the safest (my opinion that I will angrily defend)

        Science, the economy, the military will progress even if the common and thus political culture is post-truth. Bankers and Nerds can survive in their status, money driven world. No problem if have an angry discussions if Moses did build the pyramids as granaries (read the bible the way Ben Carson does…)

          • edgar lores says:

            As I read it, “post-truth” is a new term but the phenomenon it describes is not new.

            Religions, which are personal beliefs and the emotions that go with them, have always been more influential in shaping public opinion than objective facts.

            Objective facts are the domain of Science, and Religion preceded Science.

            Before the Age of Enlightenment, personal beliefs and emotions in the form of Religion were taken to be objective facts. The divine cosmology and man’s place in nature were established by Religion.

            Science changed all that. The premise of Science was that objective facts could be hypothesized but only the empirical method of systematic observation, measurement, and experiment could prove them.

            So post-truth is pre-Science but it is also post-Science. I think a return to personal beliefs is ongoing because Science, like Religion, has failed to present a coherent explanation of the universe.

            How many theories have been advanced about the creation of the universe? There are so many.

            Josephivo faintly sees the solution in Big Data.

            It’s a possibility but I am not sure. I would suggest a universal consensus on certain criteria for personal beliefs to be accepted as objective fact. But from what I can see diverse beliefs create and validate their own diverse truths. So it is a circular problem.

            What I can suggest is not a solution but an approach: tolerance and acceptance of diversity. This is the wisdom that recognizes there are known knowns, known unknowns, and unknown unknowns.

            • josephivo says:

              Religion is only one contributor. The Pharma industry with selective release of research data, the cigarette industry, sugar industry, financial industry… The negationists of all types, Obama birth, climate change, Markos plunder… . Political campaign promises. Visit the internet and see that the list is endless. The 1000 fold explosion of the word, introduced in 2001, is not due to religion but Brexit and Trump I guess. All based on personal opinions, genuine, fear- or greed driven. All sold with emotional arguments, not facts or logic reasoning. It is not the one transgression that is scary, it is the attack from all sides. Post-truth as the new normal. Truth as the devious tool of some liberal elitists.

              Apart from post-truth, historically there has always been a shift in the truth too, from authority and bible driven to fact and probability driven. In science from Aristoteles over Newton and Einstein to string theory… Today all is replaced by “Forget the truth and LISTEN TO ME YOU IDIOT!!!”, the new dominant message.

              Joeam taught us to have a positive ending. Well distributed Big Data the only thing I could think of in my desperation.

  12. Bing Garcia says:

    Competition for investment is another example. Trade opponents hope that killing trade deals will stop corporations from outsourcing investments and bring jobs back to the United States. Mr. Trump favors corporate tax reform to lure companies home. But cutting corporate taxes won’t work if other countries keep using beggar-thy-neighbor tax schemes to attract investment. The near-zero tax rate that Ireland offered to lure Apple is just the most egregious example. International cooperation is the only way to reduce such destructive competition, which dries up the revenues available for governments to spend on other priorities like infrastructure, a top Trump promise.

    Mr. Trump believes the United States can reduce its dependency on other governments by imposing high trade barriers and ensuring that the goods that Americans consume are made at home. But that would require reconfiguring the auto, computer, pharmaceutical and many other industries that employ millions of Americans and are now deeply integrated in global supply chains. There would also be a staggering cost to American consumers, and other nations like China have warned they would retaliate in kind against American exports.

    Thomas J. Bollyky and Edward Alden

  13. andy ibay says:

    Before I finally say good bye to blogging here in TSOH and elsewhere here is the second to my last post.

    (A) This post is the last two paragraphs of a two part-article which did not see print in TSOH written several weeks ago. The paragraphs have no bearing at all to the 2900 words article about illegal drugs sciences.

    “This piece should not end without a word, a non-judgmental word (hopefully) about Senator Leila de Lima. The matter could have begun as public interest, becoming political becoming personal ending into whatever. News and opinion readers could digest the mammoth quarrel as two heavy stones being pulled down by gravity. The lady could be a fly swimming strongly in the President’s soup and won’t fly away or float belly-up dead because of strong and long breaking point.

    The President on the other had reached his point of no return. The soup is bad for his country and must be turned back into chemistry elements and the fly must be made an example to other flies as never to be. Everything can be abstracted or metaphored. Droga like history constitute causes and dynamic effects. It climbs, it reaches its plateau, it goes down, it hibernates, becomes a chrysalis and comes out again to do its damage. Aldous Huxley the writer was cautioned: “Destruction and emancipation were identical” as theme of his writings may have been believed as truth.”

    • andy ibay says:

      (B) I said above PRESDU30 may have already reached his point of NO return on his wars on illegal drugs and with Senator De Lima. I would NOT like to expound or put a spin on that. Rather I’d prefer musings on PREDU30’s point of no return like there’s no turning back on everything that’s his vision and mission for the country.

      If one empties a basketball of its air and totally deflate it, the sphere can be re-shaped into many even bizarre forms. Inflate it again with methane or helium or whatever gas and the outcome could be minds blowing in the wind.

      My point surmises that the point of no return could be so close to a tipping point leading to inevitable disaster of blown minds. Because leadership is really a dyadic human phenomena of the led followers and their leader, without the former, the latter is inutile. Vanguard brod Nestor Nisperos + (former UP ROTC Corps Commander) defined to me and his other students leadership as CREST(Commitment, Resourcefulness, Enthusiasm, Statesmanship and Tenacity) which can be a measuring meter for dead or alive national leaders up to the time when leaders were not born CORRUPT (Quezon, Laurel, Osmena, Roxas Sr., Magsaysay, Eh?) or (Not applicable now: Marcos, Macapagal, Arroyo, Ramos, Erap Ejercito?) being born vulnerable to an ecology of cultured CORRUPTION.

      My other point which is a DEDUCTION : Leaders and Followers should always coincide; not bifurcate. They should be tandem alternates in Primacy decisions. Leaders should follow his followers which make the word leader an oxymoron. Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Il Duce, Ceaucescu did not and what happened to them? Followers should know best to the point that followers can predict the leader’s mind and next words for his next action so they can faithfully follow him. Leaders can only be as transparent as required by circumstances.

      There are sure ways for followers that should make their leader PREDICTABLE to them. Although there may be more than a million ways to “actionize” constitutional provisions and the laws to implement them. Simple or complex deviations from them or blatant incongruence between leaders and followers on their interpretation and implementation could spell disaster for the country. Now which is easier to predict (1) what people wants, or (2) what the leader wants?

      For President Rodrigo Roa Duterte the shortest distance between him and the Filipino people is predictability of wants and action.

      I wrote the above this morning after seeing the President on TV via the internet said of thinking breaking away from International institutions and joining maverick (or rogues to the free world) nations to establish another behemoth the likes of the UNITED NATIONS. There should be INDUCTIVE comments here TSOH to prove or dismantle and make mince meat of my deductions above.

      • andy ibay says:

        last post to TSOH:

        To defend the potent process and correctness of electoral votes prevailing over popular votes some laughable logic may be invoked. In a free country of 5 blind men and a one-eyed man, a single vote for the one-eyed fool should prevail over the overwhelming popular votes for a wise blind man. Even in Canada they did just that for good reason in recently choosing the Gray Jay as Canada’s national bird. GRAY Jay was in the top five garnering the highest popular votes. Losing Birds rooting for another bird must be amused.

        In the internet, one will see the photos of TRUMP’s new White House Team. The faces of those who will be entrusted to pursue Trump’s vision and mission to make USA Great Again.

        Americans from centuries earlier had seen the photos of the Founding Fathers and their successors who have steered America into Greatness. How those Great men looked depicted personal integrity of purpose. Can there be similarity of faces across time in the photos of Trump’s Team which is a-forming? Is the team’s appearance very different from Carter’s,Clinton’s, Bush’s and Obama’s Team? Isn’t it not obvious the glaring differences and similarities? Are they multi-racial?

        To belabor what may be insignificant point to which journalists may analyzed to enlighten their publics, consider and compare the family photos of past presidents.

        The above two paragraphs are my good bye piece to blogging. WHY? Activities and probable outputs in the visual arts are quite inviting though time consuming. Thanks for the pansin or lack of it to one and all in TSOH and Joe Am.

  14. caliphman says:

    What is fear and what is anger?The above link is to the price chart of the Philippine equivalent of the Dow Jones stock market index. To this ex-Philippine investor, here is a very simple and concrete example.Click on the one year price chart. Fear is the alarm at the stock market continued dive after Durerte assumed power in June. Anger is is the feeling from noting that the market was on a steep climb immediately befor that. It is also what the public should vent on the officials who blame everything but Duterte is responsible.for crashing stocks and the weak peso.

    My. two keep the duscussion more grounded and less esoteric.

  15. chemrock says:

    Nice work Thea. I worry for Filipino kids of today how they are influenced by everything that’s wrong. How they are desentisised by the violence, uncouth languages, fake news, might is right, non-acceptance of opposing opinions, fake heroes, callous influencers in social media, etc.

    I don’t think “make love not war” placards in campuses change the course of Vietnam. I don’t think Ghandi’s long walks and civil disobedience made the Brits have a change of hearts, Edsa certainly didn’t shine any light in the hearts of the Marcoses, not to this day. What they did was the crippling of the powers that be to an acceptance they have been painted into a corner, its time to throw in the towel.

    Philippines is so event rich. Each day we are thrown into the high and lows of comfort and anger at events that occur at breakneck speed. These emotional oscillation is reaching unbearable state.

    Yesterday we rejoice at the ditching of the Bongbong election fraud case against Leni. At the same time there was horror watching the JBC interview of PAO chief Period Agosta, that a person of such low legal mind is aspiring to be a SC justice. Not only is her legal knowledge so shallow, she lied at the interview, and she does not seem to possess a moral compasss. The horror turns to horrendous anger knowing that she will get the job because she is supported by the President and Imee Marcos. How does one suppress this sort of anger. I have taken deep breaths, waited a few minutes before I hit the ‘post comment’ button, took a cold drink, sang a happy tune silently. Didn’t helped.

  16. Sup says:

    I also get angry…

    1 The Sws said high approval Duterte…? Every single person i speak is talking bad about Duterte…They don’t want to separate from USA, Europe..don’t like China, Russia…flip flopping from Duterte, bad words..etc.

    2 Highest growth? Sure, everything we buy abroad is more expensive because the low Peso..we pay more so it looks like we BUY more…Sure, the Dollars the OFW send back give more money for the relatives to spend…makes the fake growth higher ? Right? The inflation under Duterte is higher then under Pinoy…So WE pay again more for whatever we buy in the Philippines….Please economics schooled forummembers tell me if i’m wrong?

  17. Sup says:

    Of topic..


    NCRPO chief: Marcos’ remains to be flown to Manila, burial set at noon – TODAY that is!!!!!!!

    See more at:

    • edgar lores says:

      This shows they have no pride in what they are doing. Like the thieves that they are, they are hurriedly and sneakily — surreptitiously — transporting the remains. There is no dignity, no reverence for the living or the dead.

      • chemrock says:

        I was going to comment on the sneaking-like way, then I saw your comment. It’s going to be the only grave in the world that is guarded by an armed sentry day and night.

      • NHerrera says:

        Duterte said:

        – The burial will heal the nation’s wound on the issue of former President Marcos
        – Gave a promise to the Marcos family

        It is clear now that the first item — which from the country’s and the President perspective is the only one worthy of consideration — has not achieved that objective. Instead the yet unhealed deep wound has been sliced-pushed, back and forth, with a serrated knife to deepen the wound.

        • NHerrera says:


          I used your 5-step list to express anger, the fifth step being “use Anger with caution.” I must state that my post above, especially the last line, cannot be expressed MORE cautiously and respectfully.

      • chemrock says:

        It is heartening to see the way Leni speak out on this burial. And the very first key personality to do so. She is stepping up.

        All I can say is goodbye asshole, rest in shame. May the midnight security guards at the cemetery pee on you forever.

  18. madlanglupa says:

    NOW is the time to get angry. What healing? We’ll be seeing FQS soon enough!

  19. Istambay sa Kanto says:

    “If you are still very angry, repeat 1,2 and 3. Remember, of all the emotions, it is the hardest to control. Use Anger with caution.”
    Dear Nanay, with this latest event (on marcos burial) it’s quite difficult to keep on repeating steps 1, 2 and 3.

  20. Maria Cynthia Zamora says:

    I pray with all humility that this article will guide our youth in this hour.

  21. edgar lores says:


    1. Pause. Like all of you, I have been shocked and angered by the sneaky reburial of Marcos at the LNMB. In accordance with the 5-step technique of pause, study, understand, respond and refine, I have stepped back and paused. Here are my thoughts.

    2. Study. My first thought is the 5-steps technique does not work. I am still angry. Why is this so? I think it is so because of two main reasons.

    2.1. First, it is so because this is not a one-off event trigger but a series of events. The series started with the declaration of martial law, continued through the abuses, the snap elections, the fall, the exile, the return, and the rise to and regaining of power.

    2.2. Second, it is so because great injustice has been done and the people have not received satisfaction. There have been three main types of injustices: (a) the victims of the abuses of martial law have not been properly recompensed; (b) the theft of billions by the Marcoses has not been restituted; and (c) Duterte and the Supreme Court are allowing the refurbishment of the Marcos’ reputation. I might add (d) the Marcoses have not apologized.

    3. Understand. I understand that our anger, as it arises from our sense that injustice has been done, is one of righteous anger. There is no doubt, the anger is morally justifiable.

    3.1. Marcos does not deserve to be buried in sacred grounds. Greed, which has always been the Marcos, poison is at work here.

    3.2. The family is attempting to reshape the narrative of history for a return to the palace. In the last elections, they were two hair breadths away: a matter of 200,000 votes and the health of the aging Duterte.

    4. Expression. I am now speaking my mind. But there are other ways of handling anger.

    4.1. Suppression. This is not healthy.

    4.2. Striking out. This is an immediate expression. There are different degrees of striking out, from writing to creating memes, to joining protest movements, to violence.

    4.3. Rechannel. This is diverting the energy of anger to some other activity such as gardening, attending to hobbies, watching comedies, or listening to Thea’s music.

    4.4. Displacement. This is diverting anger from the proper object (Marcoses) to another object (e.g., the Supreme Court or Duterte).

    4.5. Constructive Effort. This is a long-term expression and requires much thinking and patience. It may include altering laws and institutions to prevent these dire events from happening again.

    4.6. Letting go. This is different from suppression. It is accepting that a wrong has been committed and that the best recourse is to show understanding, kindness, and compassion.

    5. Refinement. One can repeat steps 1, 2 and 3, but the possibility is high that there will be NO resolution in this case. We are currently in stalemate and may be here for a considerable period of time.

    6. However, taking any of the methods of expression – 4.2 to 4.6 – may give us a measure of personal peace.

    6.1. Nicole Aliasas, the 22-year old girl who by her lonesome bravely stood at the LNMB gates in protest at the surreptitious reburial, brings to mind the lone boy who stood against the tanks at Tiananmen Square. She deserves our commendation. As well as those who have taken various ways of striking out.

    6.2. I wish you well.

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