SONA? Better to ask the farmer.
Two cows. Wikipedia
Comment by Chemrock on the prior blog, adapted from this old joke or that . . .
Stable, growing economy :
You have 2 cows. They have been producing 20 pints of milk daily since 2010. The government says they helped you to increase the cows’ lactation. You squeeze like hell but the cows are still producing 20 pints every day.
Crime reduction :
You have 2 cows. One day, some men on motorbikes came. You didn’t know why they were wrapping masking tapes over 1 of the cows. Then they shot the cow. Now you have only 1 cow.
Poverty reduction :
You have no cows. The govt promises to get you 2 cows. But you need to pay a milk tax first. Meanwhile, you are still waiting for your cows,
Peace in Mindanao :
You have 2 cows. Life was good and you even built a nice cow shed for the cows. Then the government invited terrorists to your city. The soldiers came and all hell broke loose. You barely escaped the fighting with nothing except the clothings on you. Now the war is over and there is peace. You returned to your city and your house, cow shed and cows are all gone.
Harmony with China :
You have 2 cows. The government gives away 1 of the cows to China. The government has faith in the Chinese not taking away your other cow. The Chinese are very magnanimous. They will allow you to milk the cow that was given away to them if you apply for a permit.
Infrastructure development :
You have 2 cows. You know the government infrastructure projects will bring lots of jobs, opportunities, and improve everybody’s livelihood. You are not educated, but all these golden infra era thingy have been drummed into your brain. You are inspired visualising the spanking new bridges, highways, trains. Everyday you are imagining the new world Philippines. Hey, you have the right to feel proud, but meanwhile, don’t forget to go milk your cows.
Human rights :
You have 2 cows. You do not tell cow jokes. You get butchered for it.
Corruption :
You have two cows. Someone asked you to take part in a government tender for supply of cows. But you were suspicious so you went to the office to find out more. An official told you it’s better to discuss at your house later. That night the official came together with someone who said he is an attorney for a Congressman. They demanded that you have to offer them something so the deal can be fixed. You have nothing on your table to give them, neither have you anything to pass them under the table. So you gave them your table.
Federalism/Constitution rewrite :
You have 2 cows. The government said the central government in Manila does not understand your problems. They will chop the country into 18 states. They need to do lots of things first like draft new constitution, con-con or cha-cha resolution, hold a plebiscite, adopt new constitution, have a transitional period, elect federal members of parliament, create state constitution, create state administrative offices and institutions, elect state senators and members of parliament, etc etc. Wow so much work and you wonder how, after all these have come to pass, will they know your problem. All you were trying to ask was if they could help you get a proper stool so you can be more comfortable sitting down to milk your cows.
The Society of Honor by Joe America 
*******
1. Ahaha!
2. Ahaha!
3. Ahaha!
ROFLMFAO
*****
Same same . . . especially federalism . . .
My First Time
The sky was dark
The moon was high
All alone
Just her and I
Her hair so soft
Her eyes so blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine
I didn’t know how
But I tried my best
To place my hand
On her breasts
I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart
And when she did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff came
At last it’s finished
It’s all over now
My first time
Milking a cow!
Duterte is past seventy, yet this is all he can think of, that is why we are in the doldrums.
Btw, Chemrock, you really rock!
You were able to compose a SONA based on this puberty joke.
😉
The Italian taxi driver shown here is also sex-obsessed, but at least he tries to confess..
😭😭😭
Pumpkins instaed of Pudding and Pie then after kissing the girls and making them cry, they run away like Georgie Porgie.
Man,those Nursery rhymes are rated PG!
Btw, poor priest.
Cow busted for tambay asks PNP “what’s your beef with us”? PNP kills it for impertinence.
i thought poverty reduction means you have no cows, so you don’t produce milk.. so they kill you instead.
Bruce Rivera, Vice Ganda and Sassot try hard to milk the bulls as well.
When I asked my High School buddy what BS means, he said Bull Sp…..
SONAmagan, what a bunch of cow jokes!
Haha, love this. You nailed it Chemrock. Good morning everyone!
*******
Sunday morning here and it’s sunny. Good morning, Arlene.
*****
Good morning Arlene. We are all humans. Laughter is the best medicine for depression.
It is indeed!
Poverty reduction :
You have no cows. The govt promises to get you 2 cows. But you need to pay a milk sales tax first, breef sales tax second, leather sales tax third, soup number five sales tax,beef flavor noodle sales tax, wallet sales tax,belt sales tax,shoes sales tax,bag sakes tax… After milking you, there is more excise taxes for each……Meanwhile, you are still waiting for your cows, and you are already milked.
Crime prevention.
Since it is bad to suffocate cows you tie them with a long rope near the highway, but it is not long enough to reach the other side.
The cow gets stuck in the middle of the road, then passers by just evade and watch then they get hit, until it causes a chain reaction.
Never mind it is caught on cctv and numerous cellphones. Crime will be prevented.
Joe, it’s just a joke lang. You got too serious to blog it.
Anyway, since it’s here, go ahead everyone, have your fun. Pun it, spin it, add your own. Make your own day. After all, it’s SONA time — Soon On National Airtime.
Meanwhile, I gotta go back to the previous blog to reply to Micha’s serious comment.
It was very creative and meaningful. And funny.
chempo, the soothsayer of catastrophe, has 2 cows.
One cow he attached a harness and a sled to carry him to work as a banker downtown.
The other he plans to slaughter and use the blood to mark the door of his house so he can be spared God’s wrath on a Passover.
The meat he plans to sell on credit to anyone in TSOH at 15% interest.
Micha, that;s a good one. but that’s what a domestic retail banker will do. I’m more on international banking. Here’s what I would probably do.
I have 2 cows. I’ll set up a special vehicle called 2cows Inc to hold the assets, primarily my 2 cows. 2cows Inc will issue retail perpetual bonds (perps) paying interest 1% above bank deposits.
With the proceeds from the perps, I’ll buy another 2 cows. With each increase of the cow, 2cows Inc will issue more perps to acquire more cows. Soon I’ll have lots of cows. Guess what, the one who have most cows determines the price of milk.
Yep, as Matt Taibbi once said of the investment bank GS in a Rolling Stone article, it’s a great vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity, relentlessly jamming its blood funnel into anything that smells like money”
True. But spare a moment and reflect on the train that you take to office, or the make of car that you travel around in aircon comfort, or the hospital where you go to recuperate, or the house you live in, or the school where you studied, or the planes you take when you visit the homeland, or the expensive restaurant you dined in ….. and many more… all these came about from some squid funds
@chempo
Without question, the heart of capitalism is in these global banks. But because these international banks are more of funneling than pumping machines (organ), capitalism periodically experience cardiac arrests, the last severe being the 2008 recession.
Now where do these banks turn to get resuscitated? That’s right, in gov’t controlled and operated central banks, the supplier of fresh blood – the banker of last resort, the supplier of liquidity which you now bemoan because they are already cutting off the bloodline when the patient is just about getting ready to attend the dracula party again.
If I am not mistaken, that’s the catastrophe that you refer to will happen to the recently resuscitated vampire squid.
Anything that is a human system, there will always be good, bad and excesses. It can be found in the Vatican, in mosques, temples, governments, financial institutions, schools, charitable organisations. When you are cooking the paela and the squid is foul. get rid of the squid. No need to throw away the frying pan.
As to the other comment on catastrophe, I’ll respond in the other blog. Here it’s just some adults having fun.
That’s the reason why the system (capitalism) needs to be reformed because it’s not serving humanity very well.
Not very well is an understatement considering the pain and suffering it inflicts on vast number of people worldwide which they manifest in their populist cry for deliverance, only to be taken advantaged of by political charlatans like Duterte and Trump.
Change in topic, but still the economy and banking. The Philippines has approved two more cryptocurrency exchanges, bringing the total approved to five. What are the ramifications for citizens and banking, if you have ideas? Chempo, also. Thanks.
https://coinjournal.net/philippines-central-bank-approves-2-cryptocurrency-exchanges/
Haha, wonderfully picturesque.
The Motley crowd of bloodsuckers band to be formed by Joe will hire that Great Vampire squid, since the perps can’t be hired because they are bonds and they should not be in the band.
Inflation/Crime prevention
Farmer said to grandson before with just P20 you could buy a sack of rice and a basket of fruits and vegetables.
Grandpa, you could not do that today with just P20, there are CCTVs in the supermarket.
Attempt to make it less corny.
prevention
Farmer said to grandson before with just P20 you could bring home a sack of rice and a basket of fruits and vegetables, meat and seafoods.
Grandpa, you could not do that today with just P20, there are CCTVs in the supermarket.
Reply
On crypto-currency accreditation by BSP…
Not a good idea. It’s vulnerable to fraud and mostly the preferred medium by organized crime syndicates to launder money.
Useful links on the subject:
here
here
and here
Thank you.
The transactions involving cryptocurrencies may be subject to fraud or hacking as Micha and via his links said; and may I add — if my impression is correct — that the blockchain technology [the purpose of which is to prevent fraud and hacking in the first place] used in cryptocurrency has threads so long and cumbersome that even with modern computers, the transaction may not be as fast as desired.
So then let me assume that the speed of transaction is resolved, as well as the improvement in the blockchain algorithm, so that fraud and hacking is virtually impossible. On that basis let me ask [still conceding that I practically know zilch on the subject]:
1. Why exchange my Peso for a Cryptocurrency — of which Bitcoin seems to be the “Gold Standard”? Joe’s link says the CB has approved these Cryptocurrency Exchanges “to process conversions between cryptocurrencies and the Philippine peso.”
2. What is inherent in cryptocurrency that makes it desirable? (Q2 is really related to Q1.)
NH,
Thanks.
First a link on the difference betwen cryptocurrency and Blockchain.
https://blockchain.wtf/what-the-faq/blockchain-cryptocurrency-difference/
Then an article on how Blockchain can minimize the risks.
https://www.forbes.com/forbes/welcome/?toURL=https://www.forbes.com/sites/andrewrossow/2018/06/06/in-wake-of-data-breaches-blockchain-technology-can-minimize-financial-fraud/&refURL=&referrer=#5acf41f96337
In Wake Of Data Breaches, Blockchain Technology Can Minimize Financial Fraud
In today’s world, we have the ability to manage our finances with the touch of a button, or swipe of a finger–all without stepping foot into a bank. But, as I’ve said many times before, convenience always trumps privacy, and there’s no way around that fact.
With the emergence of new technology, comes the emergence of new threats and new hackers, attackers, and other forces devoted to exploiting vulnerabilities in these advancements. In the finance sector, fraud is becoming more prevalent on the daily. Hackers are getting smarter about how to get their hands on consumer’s financial and personal information. Just last year, over 145 million Americans had their social security numbers, addresses, and driver’s license numbers compromised by hackers through the Equifax data breach, and most recently, Facebook through the Cambridge Analytica data leak.
But, we have to ask ourselves why this is happening and at such a fast rate?
Are Centralized Servers To Blame?
There isn’t one answer, and in fact if you were to ask cyber-security experts, you would have a combination of factors as to why. But, one major factor attributed to the increasing number of fraudulent activities is due to the use of centralized servers and having too many people in the kitchen. But, what if we could find a way to manage our finances efficiently, while removing the servers? In other words, we can adopt a decentralized approach, which isn’t anything new. In the early days of banking and trading, consumers transacted directly without the middlemen.
With blockchain technology, the doorway of possibilities is opening up wider where we are still afforded the convenience of mobile banking, while mitigating the risk. One recent blockchain startup, Elixir, told me that its vital to have a platform that protects consumer information all while having a well-versed and readily-equipped team to handle consumer financial information. Melanie Plaza, Co-Founder of Elixir, added that with a decentralized structure, there can be many advantages over your traditional financial platforms.
Blockchain Technology Helps Lock-In Personal and Financial Information Across A P2P Network
As we are starting to see, the beauty of blockchain technology is its decentralized core structure. When information is inputted onto this distributed digital ledger and then shared across a peer-to-peer (P2P) network, visibility and transparency are increased while minimizing chances for fraudulent behaviors. “[These] implementations prevent information holders from changing users’ financial information, eliminating the need for a user to trust an unknown entity with their personal assets or most precious information (Equifax, cough cough),” Plaza explained.
Bringing smart contract technology into the blockchain space allows other companies like Esprezzo, Phoenix, React, and now Elixir to build off one another, which provides immense value to the space overall. It’s a learning curve and we are all on for the ride–hoping it’s a safe one. Elixir to utilize their Ethereum-based tokens, allowing users to make payments, create/request loans, and even host crowdfunding projects to continuously add new ideas and visions to the space. What this means for the consumer at the end of the day is that their finances are more secure.
Absent the use of cash, the technology we use leaves a digital footprint, providing a roadmap as to the places we shop, visit, and support. Having a centralized server that contains all that personal and financial information is just risky. In today’s world, we have been accustomed playing by the rules dictated by the major credit bureaus because that’s all we’ve ever known. Well, the times have changed, and so have the threats. The only individuals that should possess or control our information is that individual themselves, or a well-equipped process that manages itself. Transactions executed through the blockchain technology are immutable, making it almost impossible to change or alter. Once a transaction is verified, there’s no going back–it is now a new chain in a series of future transactions to come.
Smart contracts also provide a record of pseudo-anonymous loans, providing prima facie evidence of the transaction itself in the event of any dispute between parties. Contrary to popular belief, cryptocurrencies and blockchain technology have the capability of providing a more secure system to consumers and their assets, than our traditional financial systems. “One of our goals in the space is to make the average consumer using cryptocurrencies, feel as if they are sending typical payments to others, but with the benefits of a trusting, immutable ledger that preserves user privacy and prevents fraud,” said Plaza.
Convenience and Privacy Can Be Found In The Blockchain
Technology has afforded us many conveniences, and we are on the go. Now, it’s time to bring our finances on our journey forward. Instead of utilizing any simply payment application on your smartphone, it’s time to look towards mobile applications that are integrated on the blockchain, so you’re carrying the security in your pocket. Elixir’s mobile application aims to provide users with an incredibly simple user-interface, one in which the average consumer can understand. By keeping track of recent financial activity, loans, and payment sent/received through the application, consumers are once again able to place their trust into third-parties, while these companies are ensuring the highest degree of security on their applications.
As almost every American has witnessed over the past year, data privacy breaches and fraud are no longer issues that can be ignored. Blockchain technology has the answers written in its coding to help bring both convenience and privacy into the pockets of users across the world.
The tech space is becoming smarter…it’s time you do too.
https://www.rappler.com/technology/news/203112-blockchain-association-philippines-established
Blockchain Association of the Philippines established
Published 6:50 PM, May 22, 2018
Updated 6:50 PM, May 22, 2018
BITCOIN. Blockchain’s poster boy, Bitcoin, has often been seen as a way to get rich quick. The Blockchain Association of the Philippines is seeking to spread a better understanding of the technology behind it. Photo by Jack Guez/AFP
BITCOIN. Blockchain’s poster boy, Bitcoin, has often been seen as a way to get rich quick. The Blockchain Association of the Philippines is seeking to spread a better understanding of the technology behind it. Photo by Jack Guez/AFP
MANILA, Philippines – The Blockchain Association of the Philippines (BAP) has been established, announced its chairman, Justo Ortiz, at a press event held on Monday, May 21. Ortiz is also the chairman of Unionbank.
Blockchain – the underlying technology behind Bitcoin, Ethereum, and the countless other cryptocurrencies right now – has been seen as one of the most important emerging technologies today. Its disruptive potential is often compared to that of the World Wide Web, invented in 1989 by British computer scientist Tim Berners-Lee.
While Berners-Lee’s invention revolutionized the way society accessed information and communicated, blockchain is being seen as a way to change the way society uses currency to store value and trade for goods. Instead of having a central bank act as a keeper of records, blockchain uses a network of computers, owned by the end users themselves, to record transactions in a decentralized ledger.
The prime objective of the BAP is to “provide entrepreneurs, corporate executives, and fintech professionals the information and guidance needed to implement this new technology effectively in their respective businesses.”
In popular culture, blockchain is primarily understood through the lens of Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies whose values skyrocketed in late 2017 before tapering in 2018. Its allure was primarily – and dangerously – an investment option that promised quick riches for anyone with enough traditional money to buy a Bitcoin.
At its peak, Bitcoin traded for nearly $20,000 apiece. So huge was the hype for Bitcoin during its tremendous rise that one family even reported selling everything they had for Bitcoin. Currently, Bitcoin’s value hovers at around half of what it was during its peak.
Like most emerging technologies, blockchain isn’t always clearly understood, as evidenced by the buying frenzy a few months ago. The stated goal of the BAP, an organization helmed by the banking sector, is to enhance people’s understanding of the technology, with the goal of eventually increasing adoption among stakeholders.
Promising tool
Ramon de Vera, head of Unionbank’s Fintech Business Group, spoke on why they believe change must come: “The legacy systems of banking have kept a lot of companies siloed because it was designed precisely for financial exclusion which is the great injustice.”
The BAP also hopes to assimilate blockchain for small and medium enterprise (SME) financing, saying that it will be crucial to the growth of the sector in the Philippines.
Mario Fetalino III, founder and CEO of Acudeen Technologies Pte Ltd, also spoke on blockchain use for accessible SME financing, underscoring the technology’s crucial role in the growth of small- and medium-scale businesses here in the Philippines.
At the press event, Unionbank’s Project i2i was also launched – a blockchain-powered transaction and payment system that seeks to “connect rural banks into the country’s main financial network,” according to the BAP.
Ortiz believes that the program can promote “inclusive prosperity for 35 million unbanked in the country.” (READ: Majority of Filipinos still have no bank account – World Bank)
“While the Philippine economy is growing at a rapid rate, data suggests that it is not felt by the majority of Filipinos, particularly the unbanked,” he noted.
The BAP will formally be launched at the Blockchain Applications and Economics Forum 2018, running from May 28 to 30 at the SMX Convention Center Aura. The forum aims to increase the general understanding of the blockchain technology, and its impact on businesses. – Rappler.com
Thanks for that, karl.
Assuming you have P50 million of disposable money beyond your needs, would you convert that to Bitcoin or Ethereum tokens, if you can? And why?
TBH,
I am regretting an investment decision of converting a couple of bond fund insurance with investment to investments based on the performance of the stockmarket.
But, I am no longer in panic mode so my attitude now is what comes down must go up eventually.
But, my risk appetite would not yet stomach bliockchain even if I have money.
So if the aim of decentralization reshifts the burden to the end user;
Then the risks of viruses, and malware remains.
Usual security steps of updating security of your device once there is sn update.
If your mobile phone plan has cellular data, use it do not use free wifi in malls, coffee shops parks and the MRT.
Use public wifi on devices where you do not store personal information saved on note pad, msoffice or even emails to self.
Or just borrow your friends cell phone or lap top. joke lang.
Man, Blockchain is like federalism Duterte style.
🙂
If we have national id and credit bureau in place, do not worry the hackers do not need to hack your phone.
They will hack their servers, like they hacked Comelec and allthe Government websites.
We need that third telco because Globe and Smart already has our information.
Meralco too.
If you get random calls don’t blame kidnap for ransom syndicates blame your bank,
Or the hospital and labs were you get your blood chem and checkups and the Health insurance and the rest of the insurance companies.
Data privacy includes data sharing. What an irony.
Supreme irony.
Joe, at your request, here’s my 2cows worth re crypto / blockchain.
Crypto:
1. As an investment product, I avoid anything on which I have little knowledge. Investment is based on calculated risk. Cryptos can go from from $1 to $10,000 in a matter of days. That’s more attractive to casino players.
2. Like me, I’m sure you get lots of email invites with tempting testimonies of big names like Jack Ma, Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Richard Branson, Elon Musk, etc. I’m sure these are fake adverts. Or you get kids out of high school who made his millions in Bitcoin and driving a BMW.
3. Crypto craze started in the Tulip mania of Golden Dutch Era in 1650s. Tulip prizes soared to the skies. The first few made millions, the last few sweep the floor full of dried tulips.
4. Secured, they say. But I read of Bitcoin administrations (dont know what they call these — they are like the digital warehouses for bitcoins) had their vaults cleaned out by at’s why these digital robbers.
5. As Karl mentioned, the decentralisation means part of the ledger strings are somewhere out there. Dunno where. How secure are those servers? The technology may be secure, the servers need not. Hackers do what hackers do best. It’s a matter of time these disruptors appear to disrupt the currency disruptors.
6. No third party interference — no banks, no central banks ?. Welcome to the wild wild wild to all those who believe humans can co-exist without some form of regulations. And what I hear about Bangko Sangtral opening a crypto exchange?
7. As a store of value — how can you use something whose rates are so volatile. Try to go to a bitcoin exchange and get a 3 month forward rate, you get what I mean. How can something like this be the engine that powers the mercantile world.
8. How do individual countries get a grip on their money supply and manage their fiscal positions?
9. No central bank — so how are new tokens added. Who decides how much new tokens are necessary and when? I understand this falls on independent individuals who are called miners. They trawl the internet for crypto transactions and does big number crunching to verify the ledger trail or something like that. Their compensation is one crypto token for certain amount of work done. Thus new tokens are born. The catch is this mining operations are energy guzzlers. One mining outfit can consume electricity that powers an entire small city. That’s why these mining operations are located by lowest energy cost cities, mostly in Iceland. I can’t think of a less efficient way to print money.
10. Conspiracy buffs say Bitcoin is a One World Govt or Illuminati engineered to kill off all the world’s currencies and reset with one single world currency. Of course not. Bitcoin is the baby from the geeky crowd. Technological idea has been there all the while. The mysterious Satoshi Nakamoto simply came up with an app for the blockchain technology. As an idea, I’ll say, a genius.
Blockchain:
1. I don’t fully understand the technical part. The academic part — yeah sure, we all know each transaction is ledger-based and it exist on some server somewhere, and subsequent transactions are linked to it, so there is a history of a very long link. The security being boasted is no hacker has the capability to manipulate the ledgers because once an entry is made, there is no backward revision, plus the info for one string of ledger is distributed in servers all over the world.
2. I’m old school. I understand the life cycle of a transaction. So all these transactions in a long string has me scratching my head.
3. Again as old school — I understand relational databases. How traditionalist use databases and come up with their reports, or use it for various other purposes, that I understand. But when the data is all over the world in linked strings, I don’t comprehend how I can come up with a report for my boss in like 1 minute? Or onscreen, immediately?
4. On the speed issues, I think when telcos go G5 it may be blinding speed, but at G4…hmmmm
5. Using blockchain for cryptos, at least I can comprehend the nature. But using blockchain for other apps, like real estate, it’s a blank for me.
That’s all I can think off my mind now.
I hope Irineo, Gian and Edgar can provide their inputs.
Thanks so very much, Chempo, this is the most straightforward, easily understood explanation I’ve read. You might consider blogging it. My own posture is not to engage in anything I don’t understand, and then to do it with known vendors who have proved the ability to stand up to the tests of time, man, and ethics. I don’t know of any yet, so I’m in ‘wait and prove it to me’ mode. I tend toward low-risk, low reward kinds of investments. Below the midline, that is. Not in PH bank deposits, for sure.
On my little reading of cryptocurrency and blockchain — normally as news item with meaning I frankly can’t understand — I read words that may be expected: cryptogeeks, blockgeeks. Yes, I second chemrock: can we have our TSH cryptogeeks and blockgeeks illuminate some more.
Blickchain: To collaborate without having to trust each other except the Blockchsin
Thanks karl. I clicked on the video and watch a few minutes and stopped for later listening. I am sure I will learn something. In the link there are several other links on the subject.
By the way, YouTube videos serve a good purpose for the learners of various subjects, which videos together with textual links give a good return for one’s time. I have enjoyed several TED talk videos. For speed readers like Irineo, of course, the videos may be slow and may not give a good return for his time?
I also linked a video about MMT under your comment. Micha vis-a-vis Chempo. (Vs sounds like a boxing match)
Karl
I have decided to blog something about blockchain. It’s almost done. But it’s from an angle which you probably never see it coming.
Then it is not hindsight because hindsight is 20/20.
I will look for my protractor, or look for a surveyor.
Best thing to do is to look forward to that blog.