The fight over sex education in the Philippines
Analysis and Opinion
By Joe America
Filipinos are fighting over sex education. Teen pregnancies and sexually transmitted disease are problems in the Philippines. Conservative Catholics are horrified that anyone other than parents or priests might be talking about sex with kids. They are making up lies about a bill sponsored by Senator Hontiveros aimed at reducing teen pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases. It’s a mess.
The PhilStar article “DepEd defends sex education program” is required reading to allow me to proceed directly to solutions.
This is a case where social media lies and nonsense, spread by people of seeming authority, are undermining sense. Catholics spreading lies to be blunt. As if priests have never molested a child.
This is a matter of:
- Agreeing on the goals. Do those of the Church accept rising teen pregnancies and the spread of diseases, or are they for reducing them?
- Trusting the teachers. Are teachers better armed with knowledge about how to inform kids about sex than parents and priests? If parents and priests are better at it, why are they failing, and what’s to be done about it?
- Agreeing on course content and teaching methods.
To me, it is simple. The goal is good and clear. Schools are the best place to reach kids of all religions about sex. All that is missing is agreement on course content and teaching methods.
Catholic leaders on the topic need to stop lying and learn to trust teachers.
DepEd needs to outline the specifics of the course. If I were to do a curriculum on the topic it would have the following components:
- Course title: “Teens and Sex”
- Module 1: Statistics and goals
- Module 2: What different religious faiths teach
- Module 3: How the body matures during teens
- Module 4: Social pressures about sex, pro and con
- Module 5: Modern methods of preventing unwanted pregnancies
- Module 6: Responsibility of the individual
There would be no distribution of condoms, no physical displays or touching, and giggles would be cited as examples of how sex is treated as a closet affair, to be ashamed of, rather than a natural state of growing up and having families.
The teaching method would be presentation of ideas and information (slides or books) and discussion. It would be a half-year program taught in the seventh grade.
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Cover photograph from change.org’s article “Promote sex education in the Philippines for the well-being of the Filipino youth.”
The Society of Honor by Joe America 
Make that Sex drugs and alcohol education.
Just getting drunk or drugged will erase all the sex educatin in an instant.
Yes, that can be covered in the module on responsibility, and presumably either the boy or the girl will learn self discipline.
it can be as innocent as a birthday party that gets out of hand and alcohol is served. parents ought to lay the ground rules, no alcohol at young ‘uns birthday parties, no drugs consumed as well. if parents are footing the bills, they have a say on how the party is going to be. clean fun, lots of dancing, music and food, dj on the house. and no monkey business!
parents cannot just abrogate all their responsibilities to their young adults who have yet to reach maturity and prove themselves. their hormones maybe raging, their bodies may look mature, but their minds may still be immature and make wrong decisions.
young ‘uns on the threshold of adulthood dont have the hindsight of a lifetime experiences their parents have. mum and dad know best.
Parents are not conceptual and rote instruction has no meaning to a kid controlled by his hormones. Indeed, it is a failure of accountability, as others have said.
parents play important roles in preventing teenage pregnancy.
https://www.udel.edu/canr/cooperative-extension/fact-sheets/avoid-teen-pregnancy-parenting-tip/
raging hormones should not be excuse for kids bad sexual behavior. the mind controls secretion of hormones; mind over matters and kids can take cold shower. or be waken with a slap! but plainly saying no to sex would do nicely; stops raging hormones on their track.
Totally agree.
Hyperconservative Filipinos be like: “sex education will teach children to have sex, dat is beri bad”. Well, sex is in human nature, so better teach kids to deal with the urges that come naturally is the answer.
One of the most annoying things I hear in the Philippines is “Americans are so ‘liberalized’ in sex” with the example being given being a young woman wearing shorts or a bikini, or a Hollywood movie. No, Americans are actually quite conservative culturally. My retort is that even at the height of the US “teen pregnancy crisis,” it was never as bad as teen pregnancies are in the Philippines. Well people tend to believe what makes them feel better, more so for those who are already not confident in themselves.
The main cause of teen pregnancies in the Philippines is not really the lack of sex education (though sex ed is positive). The main cause is a lack of accountability by all parties involved, from the teens engaging in sex without thinking about protecting themselves to the parents who make excuses for and cover for their child’s mistakes (in other areas as well, sometimes well into their 30s). The problem gets worse towards lower on the socioeconomic scale.
To become self accountable one needs role models to act as a mirror to reflect an example. So in order to solve teen pregnancy, accountability and consequences need to be taught. Of course sex education, contraception, and supportive healthcare are also a must, but these are mitigating factors that won’t work without accountability sense of personal accountability. The lack of accountability in knocking up and getting knocked up is only one example, one microcosm of the accountability problem in the Philippines that extends far beyond deeply into society.
totally agree. even at the now popular VEGAS “Day clubs” as oppose to Night clubs (meaning pools and lots of booze and bikinis) dudes who work for the clubs are handing out women in skimpy bikinis ready to go these white shirts to cover up. mind you i was just walking by said day club to get to the parking lot. (i kept getting lost on the way to the parking lot, lol, karl knows this strategy… 😉 ) but i thought that was humorous. and the girls would put the shirts on cuz authority then just take it back off, cuz it looks silly them in white shirts. but i guess its to ensure the debauchery only stays inside the day club area and not outside or on its lines to get in.
As to sex ed, i know i’ve often joked on here how I am DE via Mango ave DNA exchange thus some sort of interface at the molecular level maing me DE. not just STDs but DNAs are shared. and theres actual studies of this its called telegony and or chimeraism. am like wondering why I remember words and phrases and tastes for like green mangoes etc. or songs by Sampaguita popular in closing time scenarios. since reading (actually watching via youtube 🙂 ) these studies.
My point, any sex ed has to include Telegony/chimarism that that stuff actually happens you don’t just worry about STDs but actual exchange of DNAs. although the studies tend to focus on women and offsprings, cuz dudes can’t get pregnant thus difficult to test effects thereof. but if I had some federal funding (thanks to Trump will never happen by the way) i’d devise a study of how chimerism and telegony also affects guys. on the women side of the studies they’re linking it to very negative effects like mental illness and even Alzheimers but i’m thinking this is just behaviour bias (kinda like slut shaming but in science, conscious or otherwise). and the actual positive effects would be more. but thats just my hunch.
cuz more DNA is better would be my premise.
For sure Telegony and Chimerism. include that in the curriculum, Joe!!! if you need a speaker at Dep ED tell Angara, i’ll volunteer. will set up a power point presentation if need be.
… or maybe a theatrical productive to make presentation more memorable. working title: Telegony and Chimerism: a Parable of Sorts but mostly Why I Crave Green Mangoes.
Lack of accountability in the Philippines has an ugly twin: those who are caught “sinning” are punished too severely as scapegoats.
Whew, how Leila de Lima was judged for the affair with her driver.
Well there always needs to be sacrificial victims if hypocrites are to remain cloaked. For this very reason, most Filipina teens who get knocked up need to performatively show their new devotion to motherhood, previously in their neighborhood to mollify the marites, now on socmed for the same reasons. Invariably, the end result is the same sad ending almost every time: the boy escapes to a relative’s place in the province or the city, depending on circumstances, and the girl is left alone with a bleak future for both her and her baby.
Another common theme is the girl in a panic will claim her pregnancy is the result of rape, while the boyfriend absconds. I’ve personally seen situations even in the city where the father or brothers and cousins will form a posse to hunt down the boy with bolo/sundang (sometimes guns) to force a “shotgun marriage.” Recently had an associate relate to me that his teen niece back in the province claimed to be raped by a neighbor boy, but it turned out that they were secret lovers at school. In cases of real rape, the police are not very helpful.
mostly, girls with absentee fathers are at more risk of getting pregnant. they lack male influence, are awkward and often dont know how to behave around males. they easily flip and fall terribly head over heels at the 1st male that pay them attention, taking their words as the gospel.
had they fathers, girls would have easily fended off boyfriends unwanted attention, fob them off and brush them aside. used kasi to having daddy around telling jokes and stories and guiding them. also used to talking back to daddy not out of disrespect but because that is what teenage girls do, question daddy’s authority and push boundaries as they become bolder and confident, having been metaphorically shown the ropes and taking the proverbial boxing gloves with daddy. and they would know how to spar with boyfriends too, words for words, volley for volley. they can easily see through a lying boyfriend.
While I think it is true that lack of male guidance does contribute to teen pregnancies, I place the onus of responsibility more on the male. After all, the “marupok” cultural expectation is a male creation to facilitate male expectations in the mold of Maria Clara. The problems that contribute to the more toxic tendencies of Filipino society seem to me to stem from a combination of patriarchy and the women who help perpetuate it by excessively coddling their sons.
Ultimately, women seem to recover somewhat from previous youthful mistakes, making the best of the hand they are dealt with. Boys on the other hand, tend to “be boys” because too often society and their family expects too little from young men, contributing to a void of accountability. Why should personal responsibility be a point of praise? A responsibility is something we just must fulfill. The untranslatable word “marupok” is sometimes translated as “fragile” in English. I find that often Filipino boys to be much more fragile than Filipina girls, which is ironic.
Fully agree on irresponsible Filipino males. ICYMI there is a crazy issue going around PPop at the moment where the two boys (a dancer and a PPop BG leader) get way less flak than the three girls involved. MARUPOK WARNING, kb don’t read.
This “issue” about a 9s leaked video is in all Philippine papers. Just before ELECTIONS..
A somewhat older story which didn’t make it that big as the group involved is not so well-known, but it is about a truly useless man..
Well when in doubt about backlash, release an “accountability statement.” Even better, rope in an indignant mumshie to defend. Hey, that’s accountability in the Philippines 😅
There is even a followup of the momshie involvement as the fandom of the girl group noted that the mother of the young lady who had a bit of a spicy role in the “marupok jokes” posted a picture of Duchess from 1001 Dalmatians scolding Marie on socmed.
BTW, where she comes from in the Philippines is clear even without saying, her features are so typical for a region where most Manangs would say it is only Visayans and Bikolanas who are marupok, though to be fair one of the 3 girls involved is Tagalog (from Rizal’s hometown and proud to live behind his house) and the other is Bisaya. Now, enough chismis, my father said men don’t gossip, I will have to punish myself by cross-dressing as Vice Ganda, if I continue, though I will add for regional pride that the Bikolana in that group wasn’t involved, she’s quiet.
I haven’t followed this saga very closely as I’m not that into P-Pop (I think the genre is just as vapid as K-Pop and Mainland C-Pop). I wouldn’t be surprised though that in the Filipino flavor of Asian pop groups, there exists infighting and incestuous relationships among artists that eventually collapse groups. A uniquely Filipino trait it seems 🙂 though I must say, Aiah is a stunner. Reminds me of girls that used to giggle as I passed by on the street in the tri-cities (Cebu-Mandaue-Lapu Lapu). I’m much too old now but those were some pleasant memories, haha.
Yes, it is a relatively vapid genre, though SB19 has influences from Filipino rap and rock while BINI has 90s/noughties Pinoy bubblegum pop influences with a hint of Nadine Lustre “Paligoy-Ligoy” from “Diary ng panget”. Both have OPM ballads, of course, an undying tradition even as it adapts to modernity. Modern OPM like Dionela, Over October, December Avenue, Dionela, Maki and Cup of Joe still have way more Spotify monthly listeners than PPop, BTW, and are riding on the coattails of its international marketability. Sure, BINI and SB19 have big world tours now, but Dionela has a small one, and Gigi barnstormed the USA last year.
Aiah is from Mactan, of course. Her father used to work at Waterfront Hotel, but “Sir Dick” now has a restobar in Lapulapu City. You might know the area. His daughter’s fans congregate there. I mean, this stuff is vapid, but if I only looked at Philippine politics, I might be as depressed as many other 2022 veterans.
I’m familiar with barangay Marigondon in Lapu-Lapu City, though it’s a bit nicer than my usual haunts in barangays Pajac and Basak. If you change to the satellite view, you can make out just how many informal settlements are in the area, which are places where I usually stay. I’ve gotten used to sleeping with not just the mosquitos biting, but the whole house shaking when airliners take off with the airport just next door.
I used to go to concerts held in the vacant lots whenever I’m there. Local bands popular among Visayans all over would play, like the local Bisrock bands. Though I’m more into more folk Vispop groups like Oh! Caraga or Jewel Villaflores who can capture the deep meaning of the Cebuano language in lyrical form. I loosely ran with the famous pioneering Kuya Bryan’s acquaintance circle until he became die hard DDS, which pissed me off. Kuya Bryan fostered the Vispop industry in Cebu and practically every Bisaya pop artist can trace musical ancestry back to him. Kurt Fick was the next step with his musical collective that in turn inspired many GenZ Bisaya artists. As for the Zoomers, I much like Shoti whose playful Bislish lyrics are both youthful and sincere… his music videos are shot on mobile phone with great technique. That seems more authentic to me unlike the “on trend” P-Pop groups who all will inevitably fizzle out, no one remembering them in a few years as is the fate of most on trend things in the Philippines.
Thanks, I have heard some of these names. Yeah, I mean if one looks at Pablo of SB19, who is undoubtedly creative, he has clear inspirations from the Manila underground rap culture he dabbled into before. The commercially most successful stuff anywhere is the lowest common denominator derived from more original stuff elsewhere. I am pretty aware of for example how Star Wars Andor derives much from rebel stories Tony Gilroy read, but I still enjoy it.
The trouble with Pinoy commercial stuff is like everything in the Land of Constant Beginnings as Ninotchka Rosca called the Philippines. KPop is vocally inferior to PPop, and a lot of JPop seems to cater to old salarymen with schoolgirl fantasies, but they manage to stay while as you said the usual incestuous infighting (that is an issue for Pinoys in many settings) destroys much in the Philippines. I suspect that the recent issue between two of the major groups was an intrigue by one major company to damage the other. Typical Pinoy zero-sum game. Well, now there is an Indonesian girl group rising with superior production value. Video below:
Though the Metro Manila music scene is more like this: you either have the rich kids forming bands or the poor, usually women singers recruited by the Big 3 entertainment firms. There are specific subcultures among the rich kids, like the emo rockers who allegedly have “Cubao Expo groupies”, or the rappers or the very elite R&B folks like Jay Z (the OG of that scene) and Dionela, whom many find weird but he has very interesting music, even as one can see in the video below what crowd he has, more elite. But the vitality of the Visayas could be the future..
Not sure if you’ve seen Cup of Joe, a somewhat recent OPM band. I like their sound, which sounds like a more modernized OPM infused with the chill vibes that pinoy GenZ likes. Interestingly the band members are from Baguio, and 2 out of 3 Ilokano. I didn’t recognize that at first as they don’t have very Ilokano features.
Outside of the manufactured P-Pop groups, I do think that many of the more organically formed bands have great vocals and lyrical skills. Probably one of the main blocks to international breakthrough aside from upping production value is that uh… Filipinos can’t really dance. A large part of the appeal of J-Pop, then K-Pop is the choreography to good beats. Actually, that’s probably the main appeal that invites audiences who don’t understand the language to enjoy the music.
Yes, COJ is a great band. Multo, Silakbo, and Misteryoso are 3 of their songs I can name off the bat.
They are the first Filipino group to reach over 10M monthly Spotify listeners – 11.2M now.
December Avenue released a new single Ahon with Morissette just recently. Yes, my preference for Mori is an age reveal, but so be it.
The popular band Over October is rising and is managed by Mori’s own label Underdog Music, even if it was organically former before.
Independent labels rising are a good thing as the old Filipino labels are a bit stale and reluctant to invest. Viva only promoted COJ when they were already successful.
Legacy media companies everywhere will need to contend with the possible likelihood that in today’s world, artists have platforms to share their music directly to new listeners. Media in the US is already quite stiff, but it seems to me that media in the Philippines is quite calcified. Even family heirloom recipes passed down orally from great-grandma until now needs adjusting the “timpla” to suit evolving tastes…
Well I think part of the mistake of Filipinos thinking P-Pop can power through on vocals alone is a misunderstanding of what made K-Pop popular across the world. As groups come and go as advertised by the representing entertainment agencies (The Big Four of K-Pop), personal talent means less than stricture to dance routines and musical beats staying fresh. After all, in today’s world we have autotune to fix not so perfect vocals.
K-Pop started as an extension of late 1990s/2000s J-Pop which alongside Taiwanese Mandopop was very popular following the HK Cantopop era of the 1980s/1990s. Early K-Pop artists like BoA (swoon) had to learn Japanese. I was into J-Pop during college and was surprised to learn when BoA “came out” as Korean. The Big Four agencies brought Korean-American talent in, recruited American industry execs, American choreographers, while keeping some aspects of the J-Pop mega-group style. The Korean companies and government made a decade plus long effort to level up to international levels and it paid off. Nowadays there are feeder groups across East and Southeast Asia going into the K-Pop agencies. Whereas on the Philippines side, it seems that P-Pop is built on very shaky foundations. Trends come and go in the Philippines… full speed ahead excitement, only to jump out of the moving vehicle if even a minor bump is encountered…
I noticed in the Indonesian group that their agency is full of American media exec veterans. Amusingly, I noticed one of the main execs as an alumnus of one of the megachurches that targeted Millennials two decades plus back though he seems to have left the born again movement. Those megachurches do know how to put on a production spectacle.
Yes, PPop foundations are very shaky. Two American producers who went to the Philippines to produce PPop – there is an exemption to the foreign ownership rule in the music industry – noted that the fan war between A’tin and Blooms, SB19 and BINI fans, was NOT comparable to the fan war between Army and Blinks as KPop was firmly established when BTS and Blackpink became popular – and they noted that it could simply turn off foreign fans especially in tone.
Another true aspect these two foreign producers noted was that sound engineering often sucks in the Philippines, even if the Big 3 there: Star Music (ABS), Viva Music and 1Z (SB19’s firm) have quality. They did note that mall shows and small stages lead to bad fancams that would spread and refused to join. Unfortunately, they criticized PPop Stages by Viva.
In the very tribal Philippines, where even GMA and ABS have stans, they got attacked by a lot of people online and had to retreat and concentrate on their girl group instead. But that just goes to show with what pettiness the industry in the Philippines works. Instead of trying to move up to better quality, which is what the two Americans wanted to achieve, they shot the messenger. As if that would make it the bad sound quality disappear. BTW, mikes failing or sound systems conking out are common in PPop – and even on Billboard Philippines stages.
On more than one occasion it was related to me by non-Filipinos who wanted to learn more about the Philippines after hearing about gushing positive stories by classmates or coworkers, that they were taken aback at how fast the mask slips in reality, and how intense the bashing culture can be there. Well I’m not a particularly sensitive person, which is probably why I’ve lasted so long going back and forth to the Philippines lol.
Amusing about what you’re saying about the sound engineering issues over there. I’ve witnessed it myself many a time, and any sound issues are usually played off with a joke to the audience. Audiences are quite accepting in the Philippines, I think. The flaws are part of the experience. Well, in other countries they expected a bit more polished experience if money was to be spent for the concert… just like why Filipino restaurants often fail overseas… charging too much, but not with the level of service expected for the price.
OT for sonny: Kiko Pangilinan just visited Luna, Pangasinan
https://x.com/kikopangilinan/status/1920411162048672222
Thanks for the heads-up, Irineo. Luna it is. The news item situates Luna in La Union correctly. The last time I visited my dad’s hometown was in 2014. Its claim to fame – deposits of decorative-grade stones that have been exported nationally & internationally. I have not found the source of this unusual largesse – primary guess is runoff from Amburayan River. Namacpacan was its name during Spanish times (ca. 1650s, changed to Luna to honor the three Luna brothers: Antonio (the general),, Juan (the painter), Joaquin (provincial governor/national senator). Their mother, Dna Laureana Novicio was from Namacpacan. Our Lady of Namacpacan is enshrined in Luna. Devotees do come all-year round.
Antonio Luna – Wikipedia
congratulations to Chicago, sonny!!!
Better believe it! There are so far Pope Leo 14 baseball uniform and Pope Leo hotdog sandwich.
In The Netherlands, we have the lowest teen pregnancy. We have sex education woven throughout the school system. From the age of 6 through basically adulthood, there is a system. At 6, it’s “the birds and the bees”, later it focuses on respect, responsibility and fun.
The Catholicsare burned down, they had too many priests dong dirty things, other religions as well, so the protests from that corner has been silenced.
AND STILL……
My daughter has young kids and is a teacher herself AND STILL, there are parents protesting against this education. Not only the immigrants.
It is a continuous fight to keep the achievements and build on a better (respectful) future together. It are the parents and the teachers who have to fight for this education, the politicians are weasels trying to back out at every corner, afraid being mentioned from the pulpit. I am very proud of my daughters who insist on proper sex education of their kids, much better than I have done which again was much better than my parents got. It is an evolution.
Let’s not forget that ignorance of the masses is a tool which has been used by the powerful to control those masses. Look to the US where they are quite successful in going back decades by “burning” books and preventing history and science to be taught. We have a long way to go, but the parents and religious people have to face reality and challenge their schools and leaders. The fun is that Philippines can go only ONE way: Ahead. And it WILL happen, just very slowly. Like in the Western countries, when the religious leaders will be found out, sex education will take a leap.
To me, the Church is making too big a deal about sex education. Knowledge is easy, it is simple, it can be taught. But discipline, or human accountability, is something much more difficult. So of the modules in my proposed sex education class, the one on responsibility is most important, and most difficult. The rest is simple once the tendency to giggle is converted to an adult or scientist’s point of view.
I recently asked my son who is well into his teens if he knew that he was entering the best years of his life. “Yes.” Yes, because you are independent and free of obligations, I said. So I asked him when it would end, and he had no answer.
My answer: “When you have a girlfriend, it will end.”
As the father of 4 girls and now grandfather of 2 handful of grandkids, I have to say that this last statement is scary to me.
Hear me out, it will be quite complicated and personal.
Sex education should be part of a social education program. The school indeed has a function, but (ofcourse), the parents are the critical factor in any education.
Sex and responsibility is ONE side of the story.
Respect, fun and balance is the other side.
“When you’ve got a girlfriend, it’s all over”??
Really??????
That was the position when I was young and still is in The Philippines.
Parents like to keep girls with girls and the boys to do their mayhem together with other boys. “enjoying life”
Then, at some point, a boy and girl will get together. They have in their head the concept of responsibility and will soon get serious, get married, get children and find out that the obligations are unavoidable. Often, they find that the restrictions are suffocating and the level of divorces is rising rapidly all over the world. In Philippines, we do it differently, we do not call it divorce, but the results are the same.
Why did it often go wrong?
My wife, a proud Filipina, did it differently with our girls, contrary to conventional Filipino rules. Our house was surrounded with mango trees when our girls were young, but she always said “No kissing under the mango trees, bring the boys home”, meaning that we accepted that there would be boyfriends, they would be part of our life, of our social process.
Our house changed several times, the mango trees were gone, but the rule stayed.
No kissing under the mango tree stayed a metaphorical rule in our house
And that is what the girls did. They each had some boyfriends but they were part of their life. Their friends, their school, their holidays, their work. And it became a continuous process. Sometimes, they found out that the boy and she were not compatible and then we saw them coming home with another guy soon. A gradual process if you get my meaning. When they were 5, they had friends (boys and girls) and sometimes they (and we) made jokes about them getting married later.
Jokes, but it set their minds thinking…
Later, when their hormones kicked in, the boyfriend-girlfriend became sometimes more serious, but their lifestyle did not change a lot, they still did their thing and I am sure, they did not miss out on anything, it just enriched their lives. They did their adventure holidays together or their “luxury” holidays, whatever suited their lifestyle.. They finished their studies. They went to festivals. They did all the things young kids want to do. Hobbies, sports, friends…
The result was that in the end they found the guy who fitted their expectations. 4 girls, 4 completely different lifestyles. They each lived together with their boyfriend for a decade before kids arrived and they got married at some point.
I envy them. The “Free lifestyle without connections to girl/boy friends” which my wife and I lived initially had caused us problems. There was a sharp difference between the before/after boy/girl friend period. And it caused stress and we had unrealistic expectations. What our girls did was much better, they eased into a conventional marriage with kids much more gradual, with less stress, with their eyes open and knowing what their partner was like AND they were able to find a balance and happiness much easier. Ofcourse, any relation takes work, it has ups and downs, but finding solutions for problems proved possible.
You never know what the future will hold, but I think that our kids stand a much better chance of beating the divorce monster than kids in my youth… [sidenote: but modern demands are contributing again to a rise in divorces]
The old convention that we need to stay away from relations and live our lives until we are ready, that is not the way to go in my opinion. And why should it?
But a solid sex education is essential to ensure no “accidents” happen, babies will appear only when desired and STD’s are avoided.
I agree with my daughter (the teacher) that many parents put too much responsibility for education on the schools. Actually, it are the parents who bear the responsibility and (sex) education should start and end in the home. By example. The school responsibility should be the polishing, the hard work. If kids do not learn respect from their parents, do not read books in the house, do not clean up their mess at home, do not work in the garden at home, then the teacher has an almost impossible job to compensate.
Especially nowadays.
In my time, the 30 cm. wooden ruler instilled fear and my dad would then do it over again because “I probably deserved it”. Now, the parents complain already to the Child Protection Agency when a teacher says some harsh words, making the job of teacher more difficult but thereby putting more responsibility on the shoulders of the parents.
Sure, sex education at school is important, especially as we want that other kids behave properly as well. The suggestions for the curriculum are thought provoking. But in the end, we are responsible for OUR kids and WE have to make sure they are prepared optimum for life.
its the reason why parishes have older women that ensure their young priests (staying or visiting) are safe from women who temp. but then theres priests who also temp, but wheres the safe guards for that situation?!! So i tend to agree with you, it goes both ways. but overall the tempting is usually in the part of the womenfolk. the guys though will follow down every rabbit hole if allowed. that’s our especialty.
here in the military the biggest issue JAG faces is sex harrassment/sex assault he said she said type accusations. and its usually the women who win. granted actual physical rape cases it s the guys at fault. so again goes back to soft ware hard ware, women have more complex soft ware than guys; but the guys’ hard ware when hard can be more dangerous, but physically. mentally like if women cheat on husbands and boyfriends can be as devastating. sets guys back, whereas women usually recover from rape (unless its incest or close relatives, thats more psychological) many women aren’t Maria Claras is my point, thus i tend to agree with Joe’s advice to Joe Jr. especially in the Philippines. if Joe Jr. ends up in Spain or back to USA then maybe it’ll even out depending on demographics. i’m speaking here of skin whitening products vis a vis culture.
But Joe’s right, in the end you’re going against DNA and hormones. thus passions. you can’t control it. just let it play out, but be wary of trends. “When you’ve got a girlfriend, it’s all over”?? so i agree, if you get a girl pregnant and you’re the type to stay and be a domesticated dad, then best advice is to keep all that at bay, but still screw around for the experience, just don’t get hitched. that’s 20 year old me talking, 40 year old me would say read that St. Bernard of Clairvaux treatise dedicated to Hugh re Knights Templar and then consider why later down the line the Templars got into Divine feminine worship and Sophia/Mary. ruminate on that. and you’ll not need a girlfriend, you’ll be trying to find Christ secretion like Sir Isaac Newton and Swedonborg . SO… God drunk instead thats the clear path. that’s my advice now.
ps— please don’t construe my comment as misogynist. I like hearing about healthy relationship. i do. i just see ’em as more the exception, pablo. like unicorns.
like there was a Joe and Joey discussion about suicides in the military. and they both agreed. weirdly i thought cuz Joe’s from Vietnam era. so I butted it as i’m prone to do now and then (actually all the time, lol) and said, no they’re not committing suicides for moralistic bs reasons.
and i said they’re committing suicides cuz chemical exposures, economic issues and (and i don’t remember if i covered this part actually, but approriate now) girl problems. i know more divorce related or cheating connected suicides than any of the war is bad ones, even the war is bad ones if you dig deeper (like that dude that set himself aflame, theres been a few)
its relationship issues.
Not a lot of female suicides though. (though theres a separate issue related to hormone gender affirmation stuff but thats a separate topic all together though).
so that’s the context in which i am agreeing with Joe. sure not letting them kiss under the mango tree is fine. but the bigger world is dirrrtier i think. so am thinking Joe’s advice as more psyop on Joe jr. eg., you like fun don’t get a family typa advice. an if /then proposition. simple.
mango tree advice works for girls; whilst stay free advice might be better for boys. is what am saying pablo.
Oh, I think girlfriends are great, and marriage. My point to JoeJr was that you either control your life or others do. Join a cult or a club or an association or get a girlfriend and you have new responsibilities. You can’t be both free and responsible. But you are free to be responsible.
And I agree that schools are not totally the only or best place to get educated, and, with AI, they are becoming less involved. But for managing a nation’s statistics on teen pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases, schools reach almost all kids. Based on the statistics, parents and churches are falling short. So use the schools.
contraceptive pills or birth control pills are freely available in philippines. women and young girls can avail of the service. access is non discriminatory, age does not matter. girls dont have to be in the age of consent for them to access and obtain free contraception.
https://www.scoutmag.ph/45195/this-ngo-provides-free-accessible-birth-control-for-women/
That’s good to know. So the only barrier to teenage pregnancy is discipline.
… the aspirin method. 🙂
spermicide is good too. kills sperms on contact.
🤣😂🤣 Right!
My turn to ask, what is the aspirin method?
I’m glad you asked, Neph. Aspirin method of contraception is abstention from sex – hold aspirin tablet between the knees. 🙂
Knowledge is power
We have young cardinals who could soon be Pope. Whatever the government’s move, they must have a sitdown with the cardinals.
The Pope is American. Young at 69. Smart and socially aware. Favors gun control hallelujiah. Speaks at least four languages, worked many years in Peru, and in his first remarks emphasized peace and the missionary work of the flock. He’s going to empower the whole Church if he follows through and does not get bogged down in doctrinal issues. Very uplifting time, I think.
Very uplifting indeed
I’m loving all the math and statistics memes over at Twitter. still nothing on banking and finance though. cuz supposedly Prevost Leo 14 had something to do with that. which Pope Francis supposedly was rooting out still , eg. Opus Dei and the Order of Malta.
karl, I’m currently into Templars too:
===
“Tomar was the Headquarters of the Knights Templar Order in Portugal for nearly 700 years. The Knights Templar castle which dominates the town was constructed in 1160. The Castle, and the Convent of Christ, contained within the site, is a UNESCO World Heritage Site. In 1190, the Christian Knights were fighting to free Portugal from Islamic domination. An Islamic army crossed the River Tejo, captured the nearby castle at Torres Novas and put Tomar under siege.
The town was besieged by the Muslim army for six days but never surrendered to them. Despite the overwhelming odds, Gualdim Pais, Grand Master of the Knights Templar, who was over 70 years old at the time, successfully defended Tomar along with the knights that he led. He had demonstrated, yet again, his military prowess and his religious calling as a fighting monk. This victory underscored the military strength of the Templar Order and the part it had to play in defeating the Moors.
Gualdim Pais founded Tomar and his statue dominates the main square in the town’s historic centre. Gualdim Pais also supervised the building or restoration of several other frontier castles for the Templar order including the Castles of Almourol, Monsanto, and Pombal. He also founded the city of Pombal. He granted land to new Christian settlers moving into the lands freed from Muslim rule. He was a remarkable man and a gifted and visionary leader.”
===
and how beneath is a symbolic Vagina cave (which is pre-Christian, Druid structure). they were into worship of Divine feminne and Sophia as Mama Mary. all very interesting, relevant to sex ed. i’m sure.
and before Templars were fully established, this was their call to arms if you will (from St. Bernard of Clairvaux, Hugh’s his cousin or nephew): https://history.hanover.edu/courses/excerpts/344bern2.html
if Filipinos and Filipinas were taught all this, it might help. can’t hurt.
Have you read Dan Brown stuff?
karl, i’ve just seen the movies. and never really got into it. thought the last scion was cute tho. but i did go to high school with folks who were in Demolay. and i just recently found out that was a Templar (or Templar revival) group re Jacques de Molay. which was interesting. so he dies but the Templars continued even into the Americas, and explains why the age of discovery starts off from Portugal. which all this time i thought was just Oak Island bs. or National Treasure with Nick Cage. so now only seriously looking into it, karl. is Demolay big there in the Philippines? the folks from my high school were all Armenians. so i always thought it was an Armenian thing.
if Filipinos and Filipinas were taught all this, it might help. can’t hurt.
LC, the rendering of this episode about St Bernard of Clairvaux, his relative Hugh, & the Knights Templar can best be understood by reading the saint’s biography as narrated in the book THE FAMILY THAT OVERTOOK CHRIST. Here’s a review of the book:
The Family that Overtook Christ. He was called the man of his age, the voice of his century. His influence towered above that of his contemporaries, and his sanctity moved God Himself. Men flocked to him—some in wonder, others in curiosity, but all drawn by the magnetism of his spiritual gianthood.
Bernard of Clairvaux—who or what fashioned him to be suitable for his role of counseling Popes, healing schisms, battling errors and filling the world with holy religious and profound spiritual doctrine? Undoubtedly, Bernard is the product of God’s grace. But it is hard to say whether this grace is more evident in Bernard himself or in the extraordinary family in which God chose to situate this dynamic personality.
This book is the fascinating account of a family that took seriously the challenge to follow Christ… and to overtake Him. With warmth and realism, Venerable Tescelin, Blesseds Alice, Guy, Gerard, Humbeline, Andrew, Bartholomew, Nivard and St. Bernard step off these pages with the engaging naturalness that attracts imitation. Here is a book that makes centuries disappear, as each member of this unique family becomes an inspiration in our own quest of overtaking Christ.
thanks. sonny, i will put that on my list of books to read. i usually check the library which doesnt really have religious books, then i hit up the missions book/gift shops, then theres like 2 abbeys (actually theres a couple of orthodox abbeys around Barstow that i’ve been meaning to check out but dunno if they have book/gift shops). but the provenance of all this was the Danny Jones interview — which I’ll agree with Joey is one of the podcasts one would have to be wary of– his guest last week was Brent of said youtube channel “Museum of Tarot” — which i’d agree with Joey again is of a dubious background. then i watched some of his videos cuz he had some interesting things to say re Skinwalker ranch, but two videos in particular caught my eye, the above one and the one about Christ Secretion, i never delved into it but i remember as part of Alchemy that Sir Isaac Newton drank his own pee or something weird like that, turns out there s a whole ancient science he was attempting to replicate. now don’t worry i won’t be replicating it for myself, but in line with my new crusade here about melding science with metaphysics. as engine to innovation. as above so below i’ll have to follow this rabbit hole you’ve introduced in looking into the Clairvoux family. one of his videos also include the Cathars, don’t know if you’re familiar with that episode, how the crusades were diverted to fight root them out as well in south of France.
ps. i mentioned orthodox abbeys in the Mojave becuz am also following up on this Schema order stuff which Jordan Peterson has apparently gone gu gu ga ga for but its led me to this video i’d like to share below (its still relevant to the blog cuz we’re trying to figure out how to control passions, though i’ve gone to bat for Hegel and have commented that you have to follow passions, why am with kb re just make more babies philosophy cuz the world has decided to make less) But re passions and even hormones theres people that have actually gone past that and to reverse engineer that could be useful re the target at hand which is teenage pregnancy in the philippines. now my views have evolved on this issue for sure, i’ve presented my Onan strategy (which Ireneo liked, killing two birds with one stone) then Origen strategy (which kb liked i think), but this Mystics strategy i really do need to discover more of. in any case it brought me to this video about St. Herman of Alaska (an orthodox saint in the late 1700s and 1800s) at the time Alaska was under the Russians. but similarly as here during the gold rush, the Russian settlers also preyed upon the natives and it was St. Herman who alleviated said suffering and even pleaded back to Moscow to send officials to stop this. kinda naive. but the end result was more Alaskan natives converted to Russian orthodoxy similar to the missions here in California (and the west and Mexico):
Filipino socmed is already swirling with indignation that a Filipino (Cardinal Tagle) was not elected by the Conclave despite supposedly being in the top 3 candidates. There are accusations of vote rigging and nefarious dealings as the reasons why Cardinal Tagle “did not win,” never mind that a Conclave is a deeply spiritual selection that requires a supermajority vote of the worlds’ cardinals. Actually I admire Cardinal Tagle, but has it come to this that the frivolity and pageantization of solemn and serious processes has infected so many in the Philippines with a sabongero culture even in spiritual matters?
As an American I’m surprised Pope Leo XIV was elected, but during his address when he transitioned smoothly from Latin to Italian to Spanish then back again, I immediately knew why. He’s the second pope who I can understand fluently (Spanish). Here is a holy man who made a conscious choice to leave the comfort of Chicago and the US, to serve among the poor in countries he was not compelled to serve. An international pope who has African, Spanish, Italian, French ancestors. A pope who has strong ties to the Philippines through the Augustinian Order (there are pictures of the new pope dancing with the locals during the Sinulog procession, among other work he’s done in the Philippines). A very good pope for the Philippines, and the world in this era of evil and uncertainty.
I appreciate the brief. Indeed, I would imagine he will visit the Philippines, and will give the Church here some guidance that will extract them from thir apathy.
“An international pope who has African, Spanish, Italian, French ancestors. “ Wait, what?!!! he’s got African ancestry? cuz Caput Negrum is back in play then.
oh, man.
Bro, are you on drugs?
LOL. i wish.
but I always get that when I start talking about the Prophecy of the Popes, which weirdly i just learnt about just recent. wherein i was inquiring about Chris Bledsoe (UFO stuff) and Diana Pasulka (UNC Wilmington religious studies prof. from UC Berkeley) connection. and some random dude on twitter said look into Prophecy of the Popes. but for the purposes of this comment (cuz moderation off topic) i’ll just share: https://dwpasulka.com
That 2027 seems solid though. and it does end at 112 re the prophecy. theres a list available online. the prophecy itself is just a list.
There have been many false prophets throughout history who claim to know the hidden truth. Equally many are their followers who seek secret knowledge that ever slips from their grasp due literal interpretation by the illiterate. When prophecies are broken, conveniently a new convolution is always announced to explain the failure of the first. All the while the truth is right in front of us all along. Some people choose to be blind.
ps. the provenance of that 2027 date came recently. by way of Pope John XXIII. which he and John Paul II were canonized together. but 112 is verifiable. theres only 112. the kicker is that Caput Negrum as oral tradition. am just interpreting it as “black” but could be something else too. prior to Pope Francis ‘ death they were saying he’s the Caput Negrum.
but what ‘s even more interesting is how the Prophecy is engaged with by the Popes, dropping hints here and there thru out history thus taking ownership of the phrases to them, that creates this self fulfilling prophecy situation, Joey. like did the cardinals know that Prevost was black on his mother side?
If you didn’t get what I meant above, then to be clear you’re steering into conspiracy theory again. The recent (since Francis’ elevation) conspiracy theory concerning the “prophecy of the popes” is just that, a bunch of non Catholics making up stuff based on what they don’t know, then tradcath borderline heretics latching onto it because they didn’t like Francis. The so-called “prophecy” has been debunked as a pseudepigraphic forgery, for easy to establish reasons that are easy to find, but those who try to find “hidden knowledge” care not for facts.
oooops… just to clarify the students associated with Demolay were all Armenians, i didn’t go to an all Armenian hs, karl. that would’ve been hell on earth. actually Armenian women were cool, like Arab women, kinda related to what Joey says about Filipino men re accountability. but Armenians are more like full frontal whilst passive agressive more with Filipinos. I always have to be extra aware when driving thru Glendale, cuz if i’d get in an accident would be their fault (by the way) i’d be bro’ed to death, hey bro bro, why bro lol. theres a DNA element to all this am sure.
oooops, that was in response to karl above.
“The so-called “prophecy” has been debunked as a pseudepigraphic forgery,”
Agreed that it wasn’t St. Malachy’s. and i think they’ve known that since 15th century. but why do the Popes themselves engage in it is the question, Joey. just to fuck with us? because they are engaging with it. I’ll stop here, but no it hasn’t been debunked. it’ll get debunked only after 2027. that’s usually how these prophecies are debunked when its come to past. til then its wait and see. cuz season two to 3 Body Problem on Netflix and the start of X-Men saga is still 2028. as well as the LA Olympics. so am with you, also hoping its not true, Joey.
When the sidebar looks like this, I see you drifting unto the danger zone again, LCPL_X.
Don’t want you in county jail again, or maybe even where chemrock is.
Fairly put. The Pope is topical, swarming the blog about irrelevant aspects is not. He does this when I’m in bed and can’t monitor. Back in the box. At least that puts him on my schedule.
Pope Francis elevated quite a few young cardinals. I imagine the reason being Francis recognized that to cement the legacy of a transformational Church that goes back to the Social Gospel and stands against the anti-Vatican II reactionaries, the next pope needs to have a longer tenure.
Leo is a meaningful papal name to take. Historically popes who chose the name “Leo” signify a period of progress dating back to the original Leo I. The last Leo XIII had a moderating message in contrast to the oligarchic capitalistic excesses of the Industrial Revolution and the authoritarian anarcho-communist reaction to those excesses. The way I see things, we are living in a second Gilded Age that is nearing its peak. Those who lived during the last Gilded Age did not know they lived in such a world of course, until the world collapsed under its own decadence. What followed was a generation of progressivism.
We now need emerging leaders who are builders. Pope Leo XIV said in his balcony address that we need to become bridge builders. How fitting, as the papal title “pontifex” has a literal etymological meaning of “bridge maker” (pons + fex).
ahem, very apt. bob in short for robert, bob the builder, the cartoon character seen in children’s tv program. just heard talks in passing: there is a new bob the builder in vatican, who will make vatican great again. took me a while to realize who they meant.
Yes, the Catholic Church is facing a number of big problems nowadays. The first being whispers of schism among certain reactionary archbishops and cardinals, the most problematic are in the American and African Churches, to a smaller extent in the French Church. The second issue Pope Leo XIV will face are Catholics leaving the church for a number of reasons; mainly being inability of pastors to effectively share how continued engagement with the faith provides meaningful spiritual benefit. The third issue is that the Vatican’s administrators did a poor job managing finances, the accounting for which needs to be cleaned up.
The more I think about it, Pope Leo XIV may be uniquely positioned to start solving these issues, which may be why the super-majority of cardinals elected him. The former Cardinal Prevost is a capable diplomat, evangelist, and administrator. And he seemed to tackle his duty with conviction tempered by humility. A great time for Catholics!
This sequence of comment & replies (Karl –> Joey) is an example of why I keep coming back to TSOH – it (the sequence) can be described as Socratic, Thomistic & cogently current). What do I mean? Words fail me now; as Arnold would say – I’ll be back!
As Dr. Strange (or was it Ironman) said, sonny: We’re in the End Game now. Parousia or bust. where’s i7sharp when you need him? our resident T-1000.
below is a very good video, sonny. but done a couple of years back, so they kept thinking Pope Francis was Caput Negrum (cuz Jesuits wear black, etc. ) BUT after his passing , vis a vis the date they came up with, Caput Negrum may just be (or is) this next Pope. the other stuff i’m looking at too are NRO and Space Force/NASA mission patches. related to Pope Leo XIII’s vision and his St. Michael exorcist prayers (which weirdly coincides with the real Exorcist story, not the book and movie but the kid a boy who eventually ended up working for NASA, cuz that was all about Michael Archangel too not the priest from Georgetown who jumped off the window in the movie). then connect that to the fact that all the folks from UK intelligence in the 1920-1930s then CIA were weirdly Order of Malta members. that MKUltra is a much older operation related to US Naval Intelligence in the 1890s.
before I get moderated by Joe again, i’ll stop. BUT I just wanna take ownership of Socratic (eg. allegory of the cave). cuz Joey (and Joe and karl) can take Thomistic.
OT, something more interesting than sex, namely politics.
https://x.com/kikopangilinan/status/1921221212543635555
Wishing for Kiko Pangilinan to get into the Senate on Monday!
https://x.com/manayleila/status/1921218896016572460P.S. and for Leila De Lima’s ML partylist to get into the Congress.
amen! I wish for bam aquino to get senate seat too.
Had a longer thought about teaching children accountability from a young age. Being self-accountable develops independence, honesty, responsibility and critical thinking necessary to make good decisions. Here’s what I came up with:
1.) Don’t make excuses for a child’s bad behavior.
2.) Adults, principally parents, need to model good behavior for the child to emulate.
3.) Warn of negative consequences first, then follow through with appropriate punishment.
4.) Teach that failures can be a growth experience in order to avoid making same/similar mistakes.
Well. I guess the list is self-explanatory on why accountability doesn’t really exist in most of the Philippines, unless one is caught in a bad act, and caught by the enemy side. It seems that before Filipino children are expected to be accountable, the adults need to take a hard look at themselves.
When you list it like that, then the flaws in social thinking here stand out.
1. Excuses
2. Poor modeling
3. Blames
4. Excuses again
Overwhelming.
ahem, adults expect children to be accountable because adults arent and onus is given to children. thus freeing adults from further responsibilities. your fault, girl, you got pregnant, your life, your decision, your failure, and so you must be punished. as though being teen, pregnant and scared is not punishment enough already.
so many adults arent accountable for anything, just look at the dutertes. polong duterte was caught on camera assaulting someone and sara duterte said the video was pamumulitika lang ng malakanyang. true what joey said that adults should take a hard look at themselves. and just how many adults think accountability apply to others and not to them?
children probly dont even understand what accountability is, let alone spell it. they cannot see it, touch it, measure it, smell it, know its color, or appearance. accountability is all in the mind, bit foggy, for their mind is yet to fully develop, their reasoning not yet up to par.
best to get down to the basic: tell growing children that after reaching puberty girls can get pregnant. and if they dont want to get pregnant, they should not have sex with their boyfriend, period. or sex equals pregnancy. and early pregnancy equals angry parents, shamed, disappointed and disillusioned. being pregnant with bulging stomach and giving birth in hospital is a lot of pain, seven hours in labor is definitely not fun.
teenage boys should be told not to have sex with their girlfriend if they dont want to be teenage fathers. to focus on their studies instead, pass exams, get their 1st job interview and land their 1st job.
“children probly dont even understand what accountability is, let alone spell it. they cannot see it, touch it, measure it, smell it, know its color, or appearance. accountability is all in the mind, bit foggy, for their mind is yet to fully develop, their reasoning not yet up to par.”
That’s very powerful. If adults don’t get it, kids wont. And it strikes me that the purpose of government is to assume the parental role over the parents and tell them what to do, and why someone else is at fault. So many excuses in the Philippines. Must be the soil.
It would have helped if President Marcos had said, “I can’t do this alone. Give me a capable Senate and we’ll get the Philippines growing together.” Then named capable candidates. INC named their slate. Bam Aquino and a bunch of murderers, thieves, and entitled incompetents. A pro-China slate. Weirdest thing I’ve seen since Republicans in the US lost their character and spine. I guess it’s the modern way.
It is often just about how things LOOK, what the neighbors might say, in the land where “face and power,” as you analyzed over a decade ago, matter most.
So kids learn the 11th commandment, don’t get caught, and the 12th commandment, if caught, don’t admit. The 13th commandment, “know the right lawyer or better yet, be connected to the right politician,” only applies to those who can afford it. I wrote that maybe 2016.
So we have finally linked moral quantum theory with moral relativity theory! High five!
🤚✋ Right on!
In the Philippines, the moral framework is somewhat muddled at times, with people often picking and choosing what to tout if it benefits their “face” or “power.” There’s an old American Catholic joke about “cafeteria Catholics” who pick and choose what doctrine to believe based on their secular predispositions. I’ve heard the same expression among Lutherans (those “funny” Catholics ;)) in the Midwest. Could it be that lack of accountability in the Philippines is more related to the cafeteria mindset, or shall we say, “boodle fight” mindset when it comes to taking responsibility? Parents cannot teach their children well if the parents did not learn themselves. This seems like a difficult problem as now the government needs to provide that teaching, yet that requires a morally consistent government over a period of time. What a catch-22.
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1XkdZ3Jb6T/ this FB post is also interesting as to how Filipinos deal with crises like in teleseryes..
How Filipino Soap Operas Turned Our Emotions Into Primetime Propaganda
Let’s begin with a humble question:
At what point did we collectively decide that emotional maturity is less important than a good old-fashioned catfight in a hospital lobby?
Welcome to the Philippines—a country where families don’t heal, they just monologue dramatically until commercial break.
Yes, I’m talking about our national addiction: the Filipino teleserye. That never-ending genre of primetime purgatory where everyone cries in HD, slaps are heard across generations, and nobody, I repeat nobody, ever goes to therapy.
⸻
Act I: The School of Suffering
Filipino soap operas are not just shows. They are emotional universities. Except the curriculum is outdated, the professors are martyrs, and the final exam is whether you can forgive your cheating husband while on life support.
Every night, millions of Filipinos tune in—not just to be entertained, but to be indoctrinated into the Religion of Suffering. In this sacred faith, the Virgin Mother has been replaced by Lorna Tolentino, who absorbs betrayal, poverty, and vehicular accidents without ever calling a lawyer.
In teleserye logic, if you’re not suffering, you’re not doing life right. You must earn love through pain, endurance, and passive-aggressive stares while the Ave Maria plays softly in the background.
⸻
Act II: Family is Sacred, Even When It’s a Dumpster Fire
Teleseryes have taught us that family is everything—especially if they’re toxic. Your father may have abandoned you, your brother stole your inheritance, and your mother sold you to a syndicate—but at the end of the day, “pamilya pa rin ’yan.”
We’ve turned the dysfunctional family into a national treasure. We treat red flags like rose petals. Gaslighting? That’s just “pagmamahal na sobra.” Emotional abuse? “Ganyan talaga ang tatay mo.”
No wonder half the country can’t cut off their narcissistic uncle who keeps running for barangay captain like it’s his birthright. Blame the teleserye. It’s been telling us for years that loyalty to pain is a virtue.
⸻
Act III: Confrontation, But Make It Cinematic
In teleseryes, problems are never solved—they’re performed.
A normal, healthy adult might say:
“Hey, let’s talk about what happened. I feel hurt.”
A teleserye character says:
“PINAGPALIT MO AKO?!? SA KATULONG?!?”
cue thunder, choir, and a slow pan to a close-up of betrayal
Because of this, the average Filipino now thinks confrontation must include:
• Screaming
• Throwing a glass of water
• Being Hysterical
Our entire emotional vocabulary has been hijacked by primetime histrionics. If it’s not dramatic, it’s not valid.
⸻
Act IV: Emotions Are for Ratings, Not Resolution
Here’s what you’ll never see in a teleserye:
• A couple going to couples therapy
• A character setting healthy boundaries
• A family discussing intergenerational trauma over merienda
Why? Because these are boring. They don’t spike the ratings. So instead, we’re taught that real healing happens when the villain gets run over by karma (or a delivery truck), and the protagonist looks up at the heavens and whispers, “Salamat, Diyos ko.”
In the teleserye universe, healing is not a process—it’s a plot twist.
⸻
Act V: A Nation Raised on Trauma Theater
Teleseryes have created a nation where:
• Emotional intelligence is seen as being “cold”
• Boundaries are “disrespectful”
• Resilience is confused with tolerating abuse
• Therapists are either unheard of or mistaken for cult leaders
We don’t heal. We endure. We don’t speak. We explode. And we think love is about who cries the most, not who communicates the best.
It’s no surprise that in our elections, workplaces, and relationships—we don’t choose what works. We choose what’s emotionally satisfying. Which is why we vote for messiahs, date narcissists, and idolize influencers who cry on TikTok over their love lives like they’re starring in their own teleserye spin-off.
⸻
Finale: Turn Off the Drama, Turn On the Mirror
Here’s a revolutionary thought:
Maybe it’s time we changed the channel.
What if we created shows that teach us how to talk, not just scream?
How to love, not just long-suffer?
How to heal, not just survive?
Because right now, we are a nation of emotional thespians—trained by the TV to feel too much and reflect too little.
It’s time to break the script.
⸻
Closing Line:
Until we learn to write our own emotional stories with complexity, honesty, and nuance, we remain not citizens—but extras in a never-ending soap opera called the Philippines.
And darling, we deserve better roles.
Yes to all f the above, Irineo!
I remember growing up when I was glued to the radio with our katulong listening to 15-min episodes of MGA KASAYSAYAN SA BUHAY NI DUKTOR RAMON SELGA or GULONG NG PALAD or KAPITAN KIDLAT. No TV yet. I think the essentials of the dimension of drama & comedy could be experienced even then. Enjoying comedy in the likes of KUWENTONG KUTSERO or EDONG MAPANGARAP was complete.
That’s terrific, Irineo. Thanks for passing it along. No therapy required, but boy those dramatics. I can tell my wife has watched way too much Coco Martin, but fortunately we don’t own a gun.
What do you call Coco Martin on a treadmill?
Cardio Dalisay.
Hmmm, that one flies over my head. But having recently done a stress test at the hospital, I can relate to Cardio Coco. I ran until I nearly died, then had to dive onto the adjacent bed so the technician could ultrasound my heart as it exploded. But it didn’t, it just ran around a bit.
Indeed, as an “outsider” I’ve observed the very same as described in the shared post. To put it uncharitably, sometimes it seems to me that the large part of the nation is in a constant cycle of histrionics. Most of the time this behavior is harmless, even coming off as endearing. The problem with accepted emotional thinking rather than emotional intelligence is that the case of the extremes teeter at best on being toxic, the worst on being self-destructive.
Having grown up with quite a few first and second generation Fil-Ams in Catholic school was ill preparation for seeing the “real Philippines.” Maybe that was why the titas insisted I stay within the Batangas compound, or at least in the subdivision. By that point I had already spent part of the prior year backpacking (alone during the first leg) through Europe from West to East. I had seen the more terrible examples of humanity growing up in the ‘hood during the height of the crack cocaine epidemic. But I was not prepared for what I saw in the informal settlements around Manila back in the late 1990s. Once talking to settlers, I learned that it used to be *even worse.* I have friends among ABs, and very few seem to care to understand how others live. As we discussed before, there is still an Intramuros mentality for the upper classes, those outside the walls be damned.
Every human starts off in a childlike state, a tabula rasa so to speak to accept life’s brush. As I learned in my mid-20s, many of my kuya and ate friends from the ‘hood that I highly respected as mouthpieces of wisdom turned out to be emotionally stunted from the traumas they experienced. Their physical body may have aged, but their ability to empathize and grow emotionally, intellectually, was inhibited. Yet who is really to blame? One can blame the parents for not providing proper guidance to those who effectively “lived on the street” or “by the street,” but what then when the parents themselves are not equipped to teach? In that absence, governmental organs such as schools can be an imperfect stand-in, but the job of teachers and children’s counselors are made that much harder when they do not receive the appropriate resources and support. Ultimately, it is a failure of government.
So I always tell my AB associates that yes, there are countless problems among the masa, but the ones who should be responsible to fix the problems are ABs themselves as they have the financial and political power to make it so. Often I’m met with perplexed looks, occasionally with rising indignation “it’s not our fault,” “it’s not our problem.” Sure, it’s safe within the walls of a modern Intramuros… but what happens when the masses pushed up against the walls boil over and collapse the protective bubble that Filipino elites tend to build around themselves?
The late Edgar Lores described Philippine history as alternating between Aldub Love and “nagalaw pa ba iyan” which is what Aguinaldo’s mother asked the Kawit Brigade about Heneral Luna “is he still moving” when they killed him.
Will Villanueva wrote about what an emotionally unintelligent drama king Heneral Luna was, great article. Well, I can at least say that May 2025 feels a BIT better than May 2022.
All is not lost. But there are still clowns to the left and clowns to the right.
Well, I don’t know why I came here tonight
I’ve got the feeling that something ain’t right
I’m so scared in case I fall off my chair
And I’m wondering how I’ll get down the stairs
Clowns to the left of me
Jokers to the right
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you
Yes, I’m stuck in the middle with you
And I’m wondering what it is I should do
It’s so hard to keep this smile from my face
Losing control, yeah, I’m all over the place
Clowns to the left of me
Jokers to the right
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you
When you started off with nothing
And you’re proud that you’re a self-made man
And your friends, they all come crawling
Slap you on the back and say
“Please, please”
Trying to make some sense of it all
But I can see, it makes no sense at all
Is it cool to go to sleep on the floor?
‘Cause I don’t think that I can take anymore
Clowns to the left of me
Jokers to the right
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you
Things do change in the Philippines, albeit too slowly for the educated who learned about societies elsewhere they idealize yet do not help implement. For the vast majority of Filipinos, things seem “just fine” as they go about their lives as Filipinos always have throughout the generations, absorbing new cultural accoutrements slowly. Perhaps the change is not as apparent for a Filipino living back home, but I do notice things being slightly different every time I visit (especially if there is a few years period between visits).
Perhaps the change in the culture, and country, is more like different properties a liquor takes over time. Some properties gained may be undesirable, as beer or tuba that is too far removed from date of manufacture. A case of warm Red Horse sitting partly in the sunlight is near unpalatable after 6 months. Whereas tuba can be distilled and aged into lambanog, catalyzing its flavor into something different yet still familiar.
What I mean to say here is: Filipinos will need to come to love themselves and the basic cultural attributes of the Philippines, while learning how to integrate new desirable traits learned elsewhere. Too often Filipinos are unsure of themselves and subconsciously try to TRANSMUTE themselves into someone they are not, believing themselves to have lesser inherent worth, rather than TRANSFORMING into something that is still fundamentally “Filipino,” yet has become more valuable.
That’s another great concept, that A/Bs are responsible for the malaise of the Philippines, not C/D’s. You state it well.
Yes, totally.
or the 14th commandment: if caught, make your opponent realize that 9mm is available and will be used in case charges are pressed. Very much our rural situation.
Yes, Irineo!
This.
You hinted at it, but it is an essential part missing in Filipino society while it just erupts in Filipinos abroad, as if an time bomb goes off.
Curiosity, challenging, bravery, consistency.
Before you get on that path, you need tools.
Like you said, responsibility, guidance.
Challenging.
Respect.
You need to experience accountability in order to apply it.
You need to be confident that your mentor (parent etc) will always have your back, no matter how bad you fuck up….. As a youngster, you are basically stupid and go out on exploration. That is why most discoveries are made by people in their early twenties (and before). Einstein, Jobs, Newton, all those guys got their kickoff ideas when they were young and uninhibited.
Going out on discovery is risky. Without risk, no reward. But the parents have a difficult role. They must provide adequate tools (like you mentioned), they must provide adequate supervision, but most difficult for the parents/mentors is to encourage their kids to go out and discover. As a parent, you then hope that you have given enough tools to the kids to enable them to make the right decision and when things go wrong, that there are sufficient tools to limit the damage.
I know it sounds quite abstract.
But it is not.
My parents must have had a hard time when their boy decided he was going to jump out of planes with a parachute, but they showed interest and asked the right questions, thereby encouraging their boy not to take the silly risks which got other people in hospital. Or when their boy took his kayak offshore on long trips. But, what I learned: I also did some real stupid things, took huge risks when I was sure nobody was looking because I knew I would have been called back/reprimanded. Therefore, I tried to encourage my kids to go out, discover the world, use the toolset we build together but they will always have my back, so we talked about everything..
My example was Laura Dekker, the girl who insisted to sail solo around the world at 16 years. All authorities tried to stop her as it was ¨completely irresponsible¨, but her parents supported her, her dad especially. And she did it, she sailed around the world at 16 and build her life on that experience.
This is what is needed in Philippines, people who challenge existing barriers. Young people who are encouraged to think (and do) differently.
A Maria Ressa is a prime example. The fire got hold when she moved to the US at 10 years. I am sure there are many young Ressa’s in Philippines who are held back by a restrictive school system where challenges are discouraged. By a social structure where controversy is eliminated. Those kids need to be found and nurtured.
We did it in the 60-ies and 70-ies. Demonstrations at US universities. Hippie movement. Fights with the established order in Amsterdam, Berlin, Paris. The parents and establishment tried to put the devil back in the box. Eventually, those kids were proven right. They just did not have the right tools to achieve their aim. The actual legacy of that time is the music of those days. We became tired, complacent and let Trump, Netanyahu, Duterte and other criminals take over while we tried to build our lives from the confusion we created.
We must make sure our kids get away from behind their screens and learn to take responsibility, discover, challenge, enjoy, learn and get support. And not repeat our mistakes.
In that aspect, I failed. Only one of my kids actually came back, spend 2 years in Manila and left for greener pastures as the environment was apathic, superficial. Fun, comfortable, but there was little appetite for anything but a quick buck.
Still, there are the artists, the ‘alternative’ people, but also here conformity is a badge of honour.
This was maybe a long step away from the issue ¨sex-ed at school¨, maybe not as it all boils down to responsibility, accountability but also discovery, safety, fun and challenging. But above all, support and guidance.
It is great to have idea’s about how the perfect school system should look like, and we certainly need to discuss and promote ways to do things better, but we also need to realize that any country (and Philippines in particular) is averse to change and the only change we can realistically instill is in our (grand)children and some kids we (try to) mentor.
It is encouraging that there is a discussion on the sex-ed at schools, something which would not have been possible 10 years ago when also birth control was very controversial. Although, I am not sure if this is fueled by progressive thinking or by necessity caused by increased cost of living where couples cannot afford more than one, maybe two, kids. Talking to the girls in our village, this increasing COL and schooling costs is the main driver when the girls talk about birth control amongst themselves (already at a young age). Just like in the 60-ies in Europe, the parents are to a large extend excluded from the girls’ discussions. Interesting how history tends to repeat itself.
Yes that’s right Paul, though I’d nuance that many of the issues we face in todays’ world was created by disillusioned Baby Boomers who made a hard right turn into reactionary ideology when the high ideals of the countercultural movement failed, compounded by the nihilist self-centeredness of a large part of the subsequent GenX.
Well the Philippines it seems, is always “a little bit behind,” with the culminating point being EDSA back in 1986. From what I understand, the level of flying high idealism was comparable to the Western counterculture that preceded. Well, application turned out to be much harder than youthful idealism. Pragmatism to create progress is less palatable than adherence to purity.
I sometimes wonder how many times one needs to bash their body against a wall in full earnest, before realizing that it makes more sense to spend a bit of patience creating a door to pass through… In other words, pragmatism over purity of ideology.
Progress also needs access to better information and methods. In my conversations in the last decade, more girls in the city are quietly taking it upon themselves to seek birth control methods as sex is a human need for both boys and girls that cannot be stopped. In the rural parts of the Philippines where there are no permanent women’s health clinics (or even hospitals for that matter), the visiting clinicians that pay visits to barangay clinics remain the gatekeepers of birth control access. Girls in the rural provinces tend to just take a chance with withdrawal method, hoping they won’t get pregnant or get STDs.
But it seems to me that it’s unfair to put the onus on young girls, when the culture that encourages lack of accountability for young boys exists and at times is even celebrated. Imagine a world where young people can explore the the human aspect of sexuality safely, where the boy is the one who offers to use a condom. Well, that might be an impossibility after all, because the critical change that caused young men to become more responsible in the US in the 1990s onward was the law for parental support and responsibility being enforced. American GenXers had a lot of teen babies, while the more responsible American Millennials did not.
Though from my recent observations in the last years, Filipino GenZ seem to be more enamored to their own reflections on little glowing screens. Filipino GenZ, being a very anxious and socially awkward generation, are having less teen babies. It turns out that mobile phones and social media became the ultimate birth control for young Filipinos. Imagine that…
Well, it might be that Gen Z did contribute to the opposition having a better showing this year than in 2022, so their weirdness may actually be helpful..
Though I would wait for some analysis of how generations voted.
An analysis as a YT video, saying that Gen Z and millenials voted Bam Aquino.
Hehe, which boomer or Gen X Filipino macho in his right mind would vote Bam Aquino (or Mar Roxas for that matter) – joke, of course.
Interesting. I knew Millennials will start to wake up politically, but it is pleasant to see signs GenZ have re-accessed their prior nihilist and pro-daddy dictator tendencies. Something similar is happening among American GenZ.
I saw tweets saying that the “fliptop” scene had totally shifted from DDS to reformist politicians, that could be part of this
LOL. It IS necessary to put the onus on the young girls. Most boys in our village are just irresponsible. Those boys are rather spoiled. The girls, on the other hand, face the consequences and therefore are acting much more responsibly, educate themselves, learning from each other. Still, it goes wrong sometimes. Theoretically, sex-ed at school would help if not…. If not the same girls who would have benefited from that sex-ed are also the girls who skip school and show up sometimes only for their parents to get PPPP.
In my opinion, it would have been much more beneficial to somehow force kids to go to school instead of expanding the school system with 2 years. 4P has proven very ineffective and a political tool. Now, it is accepted that “poor” kids stay at home most of the time and parents with many kids to survive on 4P, more kids = more money.
Anyway, it is encouraging to see that progress seems to have taken off and is gaining speed. Birth control, questioning religion, taking initiatives. While I had the impression that Philippines was stuck where Europe was in the 50-ies, it now is catching up rapidly. Maybe that is the result of us (now) splitting time between Philippines and abroad where I now see things in incremental steps instead of a gradual change which tends to be more obscure. Or maybe the result of social media. I hate to see kids wasting their time when they are glued to those screens and wasting their money which they hardly can actually not afford to miss. But, the other side of the coin is probably that their vision of the world is getting broader using the social media and I definitely see that most younger people actually think of the consequences before making babies.
But prevention of teenage pregnancies is a smaller part of the reason why sex-ed is needed.
Now living part of the time in Africa, I see the consequences of AIDS. It has devastated whole villages. I have just been talking to people from Mali and they paint a very black picture. In South Africa, AIDS has been a serious problem, but their infrastructure could catch up. The rest of Africa has been less fortunate. It is a problem which is just emerging in The Philippines and here sexed will make a crucial difference between disaster and merely a problem. And the medical professionals must take the lead here. Contrary to most of the world, Philippines has a functioning system for providing basic health services via their barangay health centers. While sex-ed in schools has to go through many levels before it reaches the students and therefore can be sabotaged by religion and politics. For the medical profession, it is much more matter-of-fact. AIDS is a sickness with serious consequences and I observed that the medical services in the barangays are very pragmatic, the tend to see that prevention is better than curing. Condoms better than antiretroviral drugs. Simple. Therefore easier to coach younger people by medics.Hopefully, the medical profession will use the tools they have, the doctors have a much higher standing in the communities and their advice therefore is generally appreciated. See how professors Salim and Quarraisha Abdool Karim invented the wheel. I hope Philippines learns from it and does not have to go through the devastation Africa is still facing.
https://x.com/gianbernardino_/status/1921546162084933662
OT: Gian Bernardino is one of the two vocalists of Cup of Joe, and these are the senators that he is voting for.
Galing!. A votelist w/corresponding agendalist.
https://www.metroscenemag.com/2024/07/gian-bernardino-pop-star-we-deserve.html
I do find the makeup a lot of Filipino male popstars of today wear a bit much, but then again, the androgynous esthetic already was common in the 1980s..
I won’t be surprised if Cardinal Prevost received a “quick” inspiration from the Holy Spirit to assume his papal name LEO; his namesakes reigned in critical times of the Church: Leo I when Attila the Hun threatened to sack Italy; Pope Leo XIII had to navigate the Church through the Industrial Revolution and ideologies hostile to Christendom.